Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Punch Drunk # 36

This week's edition of Punch Drunk had me examining some recent lifestyle related health problems and also I discussed the Bud Light cruise, on which I will be boozing come this time next week. Pick up a print edition of Style Weekly or click here to read it online.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Girl At The House Party

A coughing fit had rendered her with little in the way of a voice, so in lieu of asking, she simply grabbed my hand and I followed her through the party, eventually finding an unoccupied room in the basement. It was late afternoon and sun still illuminated the space.

Without hesitation she fell backwards on the couch and dragged me down on top of her. We drunkenly kissed and groped, her long legs awkwardly getting entangled in mine as we grasped and squirmed to steady ourselves among a sea of cushions and pillows. I spread her legs as our hips crushed together, simulating an un-rhythmic, messy type of sex. The best sex there is, sometimes.

I pinned her arms back and forced my mouth on hers, on her neck, her arms. She was much more intoxicated than I was but it mutual, and it was raw...and it was perfect in its own way. In the back of my mind I wondered if this was the single most beautiful girl I had ever touched. Tall, blond, with a hint of Eastern European that could have lended itself to runways across the world. I held myself up a few times, gasping for a breath or two, holding my forehead against hers for a bit of stability, all the while stealing a brief glance at her features, at her eyes. I think I blurted out something like, 'fuck, you're sexy' or some other graceless throwaway line. My brain was turned off at the moment.

I started to kiss her chest and made a half hearted attempt to take her pants off, already knowing her response.

A voice thick with drunkenness, with a cigarette and sickness tinged congestion told me, 'I won't have sex with you'

'I know. I don't want to have sex with you'. I lied, but I knew we wouldn't be having sex on that couch. She was 6 years younger than me and she was a virgin.

This lasted for a few minutes before eventually we heard footsteps and decided to get up. Her hair was cockeyed and as she stood fixing it in the mirror I crept up behind her and stole a few more kisses. I didn't want the moment to end. I still don't want the moment to end.

Friday, November 12, 2010

NYE Party With Style Weekly


The poster pretty much says it all. For anyone that has seen 3 Sheets To The Wind perform, you know it's a great show. Also I'll be there rocking my white tux and serving as one of your cruise directors. Tickets will be available on Nov.15th at StyleWeekly.com.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Punch Drunk # 35


In late October nine college students had to be hospitilized after consuming a caffeinated malt beverage called 'Four Loko'. The back lash against Four Loko that followed was predictable...and inaccurate. This week I gave my take on it all in Style Weekly. Click here or find a print edition on a street corner near you.