Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Punch Drunk # 32

This week I had a mental break down, so I examined that in detail....Then some drunk concealed weapons permit holder shot himself in the leg in a bar, so I made fun of him. Click here or find a print edition of Style Weekly.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


I awoke with her arm still draped across my back. We had left her balcony door open the entire evening and the crispness of Fall had filled the room. I shivered slightly as I rubbed my heavily hooded eyes. The clock read 9:00 AM.

With my head still swimming in noxious fumes, I gently removed her arm and tried to stand up. Somehow I'd tweaked my knee the night before. I couldn't tell you how if my life depended on it. Limping, I struggled to put on my jeans. In the bathroom, taking pains to not sound like a fire hose and awake her, I aimed for the side of the bowl.

Found the rest of my clothes and gingerly tip-toed out of the room. She mumbled something but I was already halfway down the stairs. The pizza from last night was still on the counter and I grabbed a cold slice on the way to the front door.

Glancing up and down the Fan sidewalk and seeing people jogging, men in suits, couples leaving their houses. The 70 degree weather was a reprieve and a pleasure compared to the dead heat of Summer. A horrible Summer that now, hopefully, had come to pass.

Having no idea where my car was and not particularly caring anyways, I started walking and shoving pizza in my mouth. The limp of shame so to speak. A cigarette is lit and still just walking in the Fan, looking at everything, noticing everything. A goofy grin the whole way.

I hadn't felt this content in a long time. A feeling that only a free man, a man devoid of any responsibilities can have.

Turns out my car was right in front of her place. I'm glad I didn't see it the first time though.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Bar Convent Berlin

At the beginning of October I've been invited to Germany to take part in Bar Convent Berlin. Bar Convent is held once a year and is the self-proclaimed 'center of the German bartending industry'. Certainly judging by the guest list this thing is the real deal. With over 4000 visitors, a presentation by Dale DeGroff (the Godfather of bartenders everywhere), other luminaries of the mixology world and booths from alm0st every major liquor supplier in the world, this thing is monstrous.

One of the main sponsors and organizers of the event is a German Bartending magazine that I write for, Mixology. While most of the mag is dedicated to the more serious aspects of drink-mixing, I usually get assigned articles of a different nature. "Bartenders and Vice" for example.

My job as an 'embedded blogger' for the event will be to write a few posts a day for the magazine and give my sure to be unusual take on the proceedings.

Language barrier be dammed, I intend on throwing myself into the convent and soaking up everything that I can. Sort of a Hunter S. Thompson take on the event, sans the drugs. (I don't plan on 'sans-ing' the alcohol though.)

I think the most exciting part will be the nightly parties and bar crawls through the best bars that Berlin has to offer. Most of these guys, while serious about mixology, are also serious about having fun.

Please tweet me constantly from October 1st to the 6th and remind me to drink a shit ton of water. I simply won't have time to be hungover.
Also look for updates here. As always I will hold nothing back. If I end up cavorting with a tranny in some seedy German strip club, then you will hear about it.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Punch Drunk # 31

The ongoing clusterfuck that is the privitization of Virginia's Alcohol Beverage Control is, well, an ongoing clusterfuck. I gave my take on it in this week's Punch Drunk. Click here or find a print edition of Style Weekly on a street corner near you.