Sunday, February 15, 2009

My College Degree Has Become Obsolete Pt.II

Read the first part of this post here: "My College Degree Has Become Obsolete Pt.I"


In September (of 08') I was unsure if getting my college degree was ever worth my time, especially considering the direction my life was heading in. Now it's February (of 09') and I've made the executive and fruitless decision that my college degree has become obsolete. I say it's fruitless because I can't really go back in time and not go to college. Of course, as I mentioned in part I, banging an "unspeakable" number of sorority girls and having the time of my life during college was awesome. In terms of my adult life though (if you can call it an "adult life"), the degree don't mean shit no more. See I can't even grammertize my words right.

I'm fairly sure that the only thing my college degree is good for now is when I'm bartending and people ask, "So, do you go to VCU/college?" or "Are you planning on going to school?" (Which is a frequent question for almost every bartender alive.) I can be like, "Well asshole, I graduated college in 2004 and I'm bartending full-time because I like the freedom of it." I generally don't say asshole, although you can rest assured that I'm thinking it.

Socially I can riff on pop culture, politics, local news and anything else better than most, but to say that college made me book or street smart would be foolish. Those things came because of who I am, not because of an institution. I work with people who have college degrees and trust me when I say, a college degree does not make anyone easier to speak with or smarter than someone who doesn't have a degree. Unless you're going into a specialized field where specific knowledge is required (medicine, engineer, etc), a degree will really only take a person as far as they're inherently capable of going. As Eric Clapton said, "It's in the way that you use it." Not to say that luck doesn't play a large factor in some people's success, because obviously we've all met people who have a lot through neither hard work nor smarts.

Ultimately, if I could go back in time I would go to college again and if I knew what I know now, I would've stayed for about 9 years. The "unspeakable" number of sorority girls would then be more like, the "sickening" number or "multiple STD's accrued" number.

That aside, I'd say there's just a small possibility that I'll ever need my college degree again. The service industry appears to be in my future and if that fails, I'll find another job where ridiculous office jargon such as "Hyper-tasking", "Action-item" and "Triangulate" will never be used.

Hell, I'm not even sure where my college degree is. In a landfill somewhere? There's probably some hobo out there trading on my name, which at this point could only land him an assistant barista job at Starbucks... maybe.

8 comments:

Kelly said...

I sooo agree with both the posts on this subject. I majored in Media Studies (minor in English) and worked as a news reporter for several year then television production several more years... now, I work for an insurance brokerage...hmmm...and still owe $46K on a $23k education...huh? Still I would do it all again for all the banging on both sides of the fence that I did...mmmm the good ole days!! Lets just say, it is true what they say about Radford girls (and the same can be said about the guys too)... now more bailey's... i love holidays!!! is 830 too early to be durnk?

Anonymous said...

I work in a restaurant also and always get asked, "well, what are you doing with your life?"

I want to respond with, "well I'm not stuffing my face with french fries you fat fuck'"

Management would frown on that type of talk though.

Anonymous said...

Rediculous is spelled ridiculous. I have an advanced degree ;)

Jack Goes Forth said...

see, I have the writing skills of a 5th grader.

Kelly- 830 isn't too early to start, if it's Strawberry Hill Saturday. Presidents Day on the other hand... Oh fuck it, drinking is fun at any hour.

Bored at work said...

Give us a valentines day story! I'm sure the bar was packed with desperate ladies looking for some blogger love.

Anonymous said...

A degree from UNCW? I'm not even sure Starbucks would give you an interview.

Hehe.

Maverick said...

Great post.People do not realize that education is the best investment...:)

Anonymous said...

It truly depends on what you get your major in and how oi use it