Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I've Got An Itch

Nope it's not the itch you're all expecting me to talk about. No, you can clear that itch up by shaving your privates and soaking in a hot bath of oatmeal. This is more of a soul itch and it's not going anywhere.

Why are so many people around me frantically looking to settle down, to be in a relationship, to chain themselves into a 30 year mortgage??? Frantic isn't exaggerating it either. 99 percent of Richmond is brainwashed with the same life plan. Admit it RVA.

Doesn't anyone have that itch? That urge to just get the hell out of here and go? The urge to be free and completely untethered? I'm not just talking about you twenty-somethings, I'm talking to you Mr. Midlife and also to you Ms. Forty something divorcee. What's wrong you with all you people!!?

I'm done with all this programmed crap about growing up and planning for a future. This is my god damn future and my life and the next person who tries to lecture me is getting a fist salad with a spit-in-the-face dressing.

I'm not going to add another debt to my life and that includes both monetary and emotional debts. No more credit cards, no more friends who contribute nothing to my existence and no soul-sucking relationships where I have to endure crap in exchange for sex.

I forgot why I started this blog for awhile... Now I remember. The wanderlust, the anger, the desire that I had is back and it's going to make for a better blogger. Although I'll probably still talk about anal sex a lot, because who am I kidding? Anal sex is the tops!

14 comments:

Kelly said...

I understand what you are saying... sucked into the relationship thing myself... luckily i do get the joys of the anal sex thing... wait, i'm gay... i guess that doesn't really count... but I am in on the relationship, finance, burden burden burden thing... salad fist and spit dressing... classic!

Anonymous said...

You sound like you're 25. Wake me when it passes.

Anonymous said...

You're not alone. I'd rather not waste my youth playing adult just yet. I have the rest of my life for that.

Jocelyn Testes-Harder said...

Nobody leaves Richmond. Those that do come back, like salmon, to spawn.

defender of freedom said...

Anon number 1: Sounds like life passed you by without giving you a chance?

Don't hate on the man while he still has a dream...and the opportunity to live a different life.

By the way, you got that minivan yet?

Anonymous said...

Trust me, you're not the only one who wants out.

Never get married before 40. For real, don't.

Anonymous said...

Freedom defender ... not hating, just bored. Denial of reality only works for the short term. Reality doesn't really care about your dreamy ideals or over-privileged angst.

You can pursue goals and accomplish great things without going Disney or tripping over the post-pubescent "reality is a prison" rants.

Anonymous said...

More youth, wasted on the young..

Anonymous said...

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/print/200901u/reblock-yourself

Anonymous said...

Some of us in our thirties are doing whatever and it involves these things. If you've lived enough, then getting a 30 year mortgage isn't anything other than finding a better way to pay for an apartment (in my case, a house to throw down parties). I've done alot of shit (commercial fisherman, safari guide, professional roamer, bar-tend in India, founded Eating Club in Nepal, etc.), and I did things like get married and bought a house because (1) I fell in love, (2) I started a business and used housing to finance it, and (3) still organize blow-out parties and adventure escapes with my pals. I've just decided that living in the US means that I get to do it and not have to dodge bandits everyday.

Nicole Bock said...

I left Richmond two years ago and have been utterly happy traveling the world and pursuing my dreams ever since. If I may interject however, didn't you leave Richmond too?? Then slithered back there after only one year??

Jack Goes Forth said...

Nicole- slithered? ouch.

No I was there for one year and nine months and if I may be so bold to interject, "moving to dc" is not my idea of pursuing my dreams. I went for a job, that's it.

DC is far from where I want to be at the current time.

Anonymous said...

You should leave the country.. say maybe go to Albania or Burkina Faso. See the world. Acquire some intestinal parasites.

Look at what it did for Rimbaud.

Anonymous said...

jack should rim kellyb stern .... yeah thats it!!!! go ROUND THA WORLD N LIVE A LIL' BIT!!!!