Monday, January 5, 2009

Debunking Myths: Anal Sex

(Ed Note: This post is a little repulsive, even for this blog. Timidity has never really been my thing though. Read at your own risk.)

Recently there have been a few studies released claiming that anal sex is on the rise among teenagers and that in many cases, teens are simply swapping out regular vaginal sex in favor of anal sex in order to avoid any unwanted pregnancies. This is probably disturbing to parents out there but what people don't realize (and will never realize) is that we're living in a new day. While it's not exactly a 1960's sexual revolution per se, it is certainly a time when values and morals are at an all-time low and sexual creativity and experimentation are through the roof. Which, believe it or not, I'm totally fine with.

Back when I was 15 I'm not even sure we knew what anal sex was, other than the fact that gay men do it and that you can more easily transmit AIDS/HIV through the number two hole. Had I even suggested to a girl the idea of anal sex I would have probably walked into school the next day to a chorus of "Gay!!!! and Fag!!!" Now, not a single day goes by where I don't hear or talk about anal sex, although it's almost always in a joking or really degrading manner. It simply is not taboo anymore.

So wait, what myth am I debunking? Well, I guess I'm trying to say that anal sex is actually pretty common these days and I feel that it should be discussed in a more open forum among heterosexual males and females. I don't really want any religious nutjobs commenting and giving me the "god created a penis for a vagina" BS. I don't believe in a higher power and it's too boring to me to think that there is only one way we were intended to pleasure ourselves. Do all girls like anal? No of course not. Do some? Hell yes. Will most at least give it a try to make their man happy? Usually.

Now it should be noted that I, among many other guys, have had instances where a girl maybe tried to sneak a finger in my own poop shoot. So I didn't like it, but it doesn't mean that I didn't at least try it. I'm not gay (although I have been giving a lot of "go-team" ass pats to fellow male bartenders at work lately...hmm) but I have many gay friends and that is how they get down with their lover. Personally I think it's hilarious to talk about it with them. Why are some men born with the urge to put their penis in another guys bum? I don't know, but I'm comfortable in saying that when done correctly it can be a perfectly natural and normal thing.

Okay now for the disclaimer. I'm almost certain that I'll hear from 18 different girls this week about how I wrote about having ass sex with a specific girl and how I'm a scandalous dickhead and blah blah blah. But that's simply not the case. For the record, I only wrote about specific instances with one girl and I had her permission. I write what I think about and I'm not in the market to harm anyone. That's the last time I'll say it. But really, if you can't handle my honesty then don't come back to the blog.

I'll leave you with some solid advice: Poopie happens, and the girl usually doesn't like it when you freak out about it. Trust me, this ain't my first rodeo.


k said...

"Poopie happens, and the girl usually doesn't like it when you freak out about it. Trust me, this ain't my first rodeo."

Yeah.... i had one guy shove his cock in my face to show me what i had done....

If you dont wanna risk it boys, dont stick it!

the one and only ridor said...

Oh gawd. This is hilarious but yet good entry!


Anonymous said...

The asshole, much like the vagina, is a strange and mysterious place. If you have the keys to unlock those doors, please enlighten me.

Anonymous said...

This should probably be required reading for any past, present or future "scandalous ho-monsters".

Anonymous said...

Poop chute riot!

Clay said...

Haha... no go team ass pats from this guy.

richmondite said...

"then the bitch asked me to shit on her chest!"

-Notorious BIG

.lp. said...

thank you jack.
thank you.

i used to be one of those girls that was all like "Oh no thank you, its and exit not and entrance"

but then it happened.
and it wasnt that bad.
wasnt bad at all.
it was great.

and now, that i have opened that can of worms, i cant wait for those special nights.
when im alil liquored up.
and the mans got the AstroGlide.
and we can get down to the butt business.
I think its high time that the heteromales stepped up in appreciation for anal sex.
because alot of ladies just dont come out waving their "fuck me in the ass" flag.
and its alot easier to fly it.
when theres strong man behind you.

Picard said...

You must be proud. Pardon me while I retch.

Anonymous said...

poop thoughts:

if you wanna dance, sometimes you gotta pay the fiddler...

it's like how the columbians would factor in lost keys into their calculations- it's the cost of doing business