A reader created this image and sent it along to me this afternoon. She said the star above my name stood for my favorite sports team, The Dallas Cowboys. Although I think she was completely plastered when she said that.
Either way, there's only 4 days until the election, but unlike the other candidates, I actually have a clear and precise plan for what I would do if elected mayor.
I promise that I will spend the budget, and by budget, I mean the whole entire wad, on getting a MAJOR league baseball team to Richmond. I'll make George Steinbrenner look like a cheap bastard by comparison. I'll build a stadium that will rival the new billion dollar arena going up in Dallas. We'll nuke Shockoe Bottom and start from scratch if neccessary.
I mean.... Do we really need to be paying VDOT employees? Overtime money to cops??? The web guys who keep lists of what convicted felons live in your neighborhood??? 3rd Grade Teachers?????? Lets get real here. There are a lot of cuts that need to be made.
If that plan fails and I'm assuming it might, then I'll spend all of Richmond's money on trying to coerce a certain newscaster from Channel 6 into sleeping with me. I figure with the 200 million or so I have at my disposal, I can afford a few dates to Mortons. We need a mayor who is willing to go the extra mile for meaningless sex! We need a mayor who will be honest and upfront with his intentions!
Unlike the other dudes running for mayor, there's no subterfuge when it comes to my campaign.
Vote Jack Goes Forth in 08'.
Friday, October 31, 2008
A reader created this image and sent it along to me this afternoon. She said the star above my name stood for my favorite sports team, The Dallas Cowboys. Although I think she was completely plastered when she said that.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Now, I couldn't tell you my date's name to save my life, but I can remember the strange details from that night. I got drunk on 5 dollar rubber bottles of Miller Lite. I managed to befriend a large (maybe 45) group of inner-city kids who came to the game. I belligerently cussed at the opposing team (The Rochester Red Wings) and even got my little inner city group to chant opposing players names with a funny adjective in front of the name when they were at bat (Smelly Samano!!! Smelly Samano!!!). The stadium was dead and both teams were constantly looking back at me and my group's ridiculous taunts (Hey Johnson! Your wife sucks in bed!!!) My date was embarrassed, I was red-faced drunk and 45 little black kids thought that I was funniest white man they had ever seen. It was a lot of fun. I'm not sure if I ever saw the girl after that... Apparently I was too immature. Psh...Me? Immature?
My point in telling you this?
We need baseball back in Richmond! I don't care if it doesn't bring in enough revenue. I don't care if the city has to pony up 50 million dollars. I don't even care if we don't build a new stadium and we just stick with the toilet bowl that is the Diamond.
Baseball is a Richmond tradition. There is no better way to spend an afternoon skipping work and drinking a few beers. The Braves may have lost money, but they increased civic pride. They were a part of this cities history. My all-time favorite player and alleged spouse-abuser David Justice played for the Braves! I almost caught about 7 foul balls in that stadium! I got drunk and yelled at strangers there!
I dare you to go and re watch the movie "Bull Durham" and not want minor league baseball back in Richmond. You can't do it.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Right up to the point where they were 29 years, 364 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds old they are all absolutely, positively certain that their screenplay will be sold, their face will be discovered by a big stage producer, their paintings will be hanging at The MoMA, their photographs will be gracing the pages of Vogue etc. etc." - Hugh MacLeod "Gaping Void".
I know a bartender here in Richmond who is 2 years older than me. Like me, he has a college degree and like me, he loves to bartend. Unlike me, this bartender has ideas and plans and schemes and is starting some sort of new business every other day (with varying degrees of success). I remember him telling me about a modeling and promotions company he was starting a few years ago (which is still in existence and seems to be flourishing), he talks about a bartender reality TV show he's trying to spearhead, he plans events, he networks constantly and in a word... he hustles.
Unlike most* of the other bartenders I know, he has no plan on getting a great job in sales or landing a corner office. He pays the bills by slinging drinks and in his free time he works to accomplish something different with his life. I haven't spoken to him specifically about this, but I'm willing to bet that you will never find him in a cubicle, ever.
I think for the most part that everyone who knows this guy, likes him. He's personable and intelligent. I also think and have heard that a lot of people think he's crazy and they tend to scoff at his outlandish ideas. I know I sort of used to snicker when he would tell me about these events and these promotions that he was planning. It was something different (especially in this backwards city) and "different" will always meet resistance.
Well, I'm an idiot. I should have been spending my time thus far working on something bigger and better, while still being able to pay my bills without having a 9 to 5. Instead I've only been dreaming and waiting. The one thing that my bartending friend has been able to do, that I so desperately am trying to do, is ignore everybody. I haven't asked him about this either, but I can say without a doubt that he doesn't give a fuck about the naysayers.
The ones that people think are "crazy" are inevitably the ones who succeed on the grandest scale, or they burn up in a spectacular fashion. Either way, the effort and the journey is what makes their life special.
Right now I'm wasting my time and my youth. A future that's behind a desk and a future spent doing the things I never said I would do gets slightly closer everyday. I've got to get moving on something... It's just a matter of what exactly that is.
*Ed. Note: Since posting this I've rememered a few other bartenders who are working on awesome side gigs too.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I met with some people from Brick and we seemed to have worked out some sort of deal for me to write a bartender confessional piece once a week. Sort of a behind the scenes, pull no punches look at bartending. I liked the people I met and it seemed like a cool way to get my writing to a larger audience. I figured that any weekly paper that would let the hilarious and often abrasive Jacob Lee write entertainment reviews, would surely accept an honest and open blogging bartender.
I mentioned my new gig to a few friends who are in the news industry or who seemed to know a lot about the industry. They all said the same thing; Brick is a sinking ship and the RTD is on very shaky ground right now. (There is even a blog devoted solely to why the RTD is dying). One friend who used to work for the Times-Dispatch called Brick an advertorial, which as I understand it, basically means that Brick is 24 pages of revenue generating ads with a few stories or news pieces thrown in to make it look legit. I laughed and sarcastically told them that my weekly column would surely help start a renaissance within the small alternative weekly, plus I didn't give a fuck what people thought. Anyone who will pay me to write is cool in my book.
Weeks passed and I never really heard back from Brick. I just assumed that my recent controversies and my somewhat incendiary worldview had scared them away. Would it be worth bringing on a writer who may possibly increase readership, yet at the same time may possibly scare away advertisers? I guess they didn't think so. I was told that they were looking for a bar to sponsor the weekly piece and that was the last I heard.
One thing that worried me about Brick Weekly is that it seemed like some of the editorial team doubled as ad sales people. The same people who approached me about writing, also went out to bars and businesses to sell ad space. Maybe this is a common practice and I'm in the wrong here, but doesn't that seem strange?
The reason I write this is not to bash Brick. I still read it weekly and I have nothing but respect for the people I met. The reason for this is the article in the new Style Weekly today (which isn't online yet), that talks about how the Richmond Times Dispatch was going to run an ad from the NRA that bashed Obama. The Style article discussed some of the fallout in the RTD newsroom over this decision and what it means when the media (and VA's largest newspaper) fails to give unbiased accounts or untainted news to their readers.
Unfortunately, life is nothing but the bottom line and I understand that in these cash-strapped times you gotta do what you gotta do. But if I can't trust my local news and get my locally-flavored reading fix from the RTD everyday, where else can I turn? I'm not going to stop reading the Dispatch but I'll just need to focus on taking a blind eye to pro-McCain propaganda and ads that are disguised as real news pieces.
Maybe Brick Weekly (or Brick Reloaded as it is now called) is a dead horse and maybe that's why they decided to overhaul their staff and their concept about a year ago? I really don't know and I really don't give a shit either way, but I will say this, Style Weekly is currently taking Brick and the RTD out back to the tool shed and treating them like a weak, slightly autistic, red-headed step child.
...And I don't just say that because Style writes about me every once awhile, although I give them props for keeping an eye on the local bloggers and the little people here in Richmond.
Monday, October 27, 2008
I was laying in bed with a girl, who actually is just a good friend, and for some reason the TV was on a local public access cable station (Like the fictional station that Wayne's World came on). A Reverend named Gerald Glenn was speaking, and he was saying something about the mayorial candidates when I heard something like this (although these are not his exact words, I repeat, I am not quoting him):
(Imagine me speaking in a loud preacher man's voice) "We don't care what the man drinks or what he does in his spare time. Oh so he drinks a Rob Roy when he's out at the bars? Who cares. This election should be about the issues and not about personal BS!"
I looked over at my friend and she burst out laughing.
"He's talking about your blog!"
I thought that maybe it was just a coincidence or that maybe I was just really really fucked up (I was), so I googled Gerald Glenn and it turns out that he's a local Bishop who supports Dwight Jones for mayor. He had to be referring to the Pantele incident, although at the time of this blog posting, I am still officially intoxicated, so it's a possibility that I'm completely off base here.
Either way, I think I was referred to in a early Monday morning sermon at an 2500 member, historically African American church. If I haven't officially arrived yet, then I did on Monday morning. Although what "arrived" means is open to people's interpretation.
The right Reverend Gerald Glenn has spoken, this blog is a public nuisance! Can I get an amen!?
Friday, October 24, 2008
I'm not claiming to know anything about dating or sex, but I do participate in both and if you read the blog then you know that I have interesting views when it comes to both. Plus RVAnews is paying me to do this monthly, or bi-monthly column. You read that right and yes, they're obviously taking crazy pills. Of course the "pay" for each column would hardly cover a third of one of my bar tabs, but still, now when I lie to girls about being a professional writer it won't technically be a lie.
I certainly don't plan on holding anything back and the fact that it's on someone elses website means nothing to me when it comes to censorship or my somewhat outlandish views. I don't know much about Susan, but I know that my antagonist Val is 27 years old and about to have a baby. More opposite, we could not be. It should be pretty entertaining.
Get over to RVAnews.com and submit some questions. Real or fake, funny or serious. I plan on being somewhat serious with my answers. Here's some example Q + A's:
-Q: I got a girls number the other day. She's perfect and I want to be with her so badly. How long should I wait to call? Text? Email? I don't want to screw this up!
A: You will screw it up, but to give yourself the best possible chance, wait four days and then call. All girls claim that they want a guy to call the next day and to not play games, but girls are deranged. Desperation smells, bad. Don't be that guy.
-Q: I dated a girl for six months and she dumped me. Now, only two weeks later she's seeing another guy. I'm heartbroken, jealous, sad, and every other lame emotion there is. What am I to do?
-A: Ahh the pain of a broken heart.... I feel for you. My best recommendation is to seek the comfort of friends and to be around people who care for you..wait, that's probably Val Catrow's weak recommendation. I, on the other hand, advise you to dive back into the dating pool with wreckless abandon. I'm talking a lot of booze and as many one to two night stands that you can get your hands on. There's no need to sit around, listening to Radiohead and crying over spilled milk. Get back out there and make some really bad decisions. Also, bottle up your emotions. We have our own problems and we don't need to hear your little girl sob stories.
-Q: How can a guy tell when a girl has had an orgasm? Should he ask or just assume it's all good until she says otherwise?
A: Wait, it's physically possible for females to have orgasms?! Really? Hmmm, let me do some research and get back to you on this one.
*Column begins December 1st. Apparently we need over a month to collect the questions and then provide our expert (or in my case, childish) opinions.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
UPDATE: The bloggers have spoken. We no like Billy.
In today's Style Weekly there was another article about my blog and my recent firing from one of my bartending jobs. Read it here. (The first article can be found here.) The recent piece gives no new information and it basically restates everything that I said on the blog. Oh well, getting featured in Central VA's largest alternative newspaper is still pretty cool.
Secondly, I did hear back from the Bill Pantele camp, or more specifically his campaign manager, Craig Bieber. Whether or not Craig is related to the undisputedly lame, locally based, catchy commercials, injury attorney guy Joel Bieber, is yet to be determined. Here is the email in full:
Those of us working on Bill Pantele’s campaign for Mayor read your initial post about Bill Pantele on your blog, and thought that it was quite funny and amusing. In fact, it was complimentary in many ways, and we greatly appreciated your endorsement of Bill’s candidacy. Please be assured that no one associated with the Pantele campaign contacted anyone at the restaurant to express an opinion about your blog post.
Bill Pantele for Mayor
First off I have to admit, I didn't expect to hear anything from Pantele or anyone associated with him and second, I believe that Pantele and his inner circle had nothing to do with getting me fired. I do still believe that some yokels who support Pantele and who were at the fundraiser that I bartended made the calls to Havana 59 and got me fired, but that's neither here nor there.
This situation has been unpleasant for me, mostly because the people (management) at Havana who were my friends and who helped me, are no longer so. It sucks, but it's life and I'm moving on. I blame management at Havana, I blame local idiots who don't understand the concept of free speech and I blame myself for getting fired. I'll make a great effort to never speak of this again.
On a much brighter note, I had drinks with mayorial candidate Robert Grey today. Why did we have drinks? What did I think about him? What does he do with his royalties as the dude from the "Just For Men, Touch Of Gray Haircare" box??? We have answers people...
I'll post about it tommorow afternoon.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Jack, who is living his life like all the rest of us, searches for an outlet for his day-to-day frustrations and observations and turns to the blog as a new-age media diary. These witty and astute observations from a sociologist would be revered in the academic field; however, coming from someone who does not have that distinction, some dismiss them as slanderous and disruptive.To the uneducated eye, Jack’s work may be misunderstood, but he has every right to write as he sees fit, that being one of the joys of American citizenship. People do not like to see how others see them, yet Jack is brave enough to put his work out there and is open to criticism. He may not know how to make a blue drink, but he nails the life and times of the bar characters with the greatest of accuracy and should be commended, not criticized.
"May not know how to make a blue drink"????? WTF? I've probably made more Blue Motorcycles in the past 10 months than any other bartender in Richmond. Nevertheless, the fact that someone took the time to write a letter defending me is flattering. Jen W from Glen Allen, a free round of drinks and shots is awaiting you downtown and pending your level of attractiveness, a date to some of the finest watering holes in Richmond may just be in the cards too. :)
I've found that a decent number of people find this blog through Google. Through my site meter I can see what search term is used when people click on my blog. Mostly people will type in "Jack Goes Forth" , "Jack the Bartender", or something like "Jack Richmond VA". Though some people find my blog using search terms that are a tad more unconventional.
The strangest and most frequent unconventional search term or subject is "excessive sweating during sex" or "sweat too much during sex" or even "gross sweaty sex". Honestly, I get 3-4 readers a day who find my site after Googling something along these lines. It's due to my post last month, "Sweating Profusely During Sex".
Try Googling sweaty sex or some combination of the term and I'm almost always near the top of the list. Apparently I'm now one of the internet's foremost experts on excessive perspiration during intercourse. It's funny because I generally don't sweat that much during a love-making session, unless it's some type of abnormal situation like sex in a sauna, flu sex, after gym sex, hungover sex or sex in a bikram yoga studio. Unfortunately I'm frequently sick, hungover and meeting easy women in bikram yoga studios...
Clearly there are a lot of men (or women) out there who have a problem with excessive sweating during sex. I won't make fun of these people because God knows, we all have problems that are best left unsaid, but still....It has to be somewhat embarrassing to completely drench a girl (with sweat) the first time you two decide to awkwardly squirm around on top of each other.
-The Bill Pantele fiasco is possibly coming to a conclusion, sort of, maybe. I'm going to wait until Tuesday's Style Weekly comes out to talk about it on the blog though. You could probably guess why I'm waiting until Style comes out, but if you can't guess, just wait.
- Due to the multiple blog controversies these past 2-3 weeks I've been getting away from actual blogging. Starting this week I'm going to post 5-6 times a week, every week, no exceptions. I started this blog to write and lately I've been putting up a post and then sitting on my hands for a few days. The only way I'm ever going to become a better writer, or retain readership is to keep posting and posting and posting. What this means: There will be a few shitty ass posts thrown up here and there....of course that's really nothing new.
- I think I've developed a phobia in regards to blogging about my bartending exploits or about the people who come into the bar. I'm not going to stop doing it, but I guess I need to be more careful in the future. Although what I do on my own time like sex and drinking will continue to be discussed in all of its blood-soaked glory.
- Oh and to the nice lady who paid me 40 dollars for my phone number last night at work?! If 40$ can get you a phone number, just think what 400$ dollars could get you! - Hey I'm only semi-employed here people, I gotta make ends meet somehow.
Do you think it's even remotely legal to run an bartender/escort for hire service from a blog? I'm just spitballing here...
Thursday, October 16, 2008
So while I was sitting there mindlessly feeding (surprisingly attractive) girls one dollar bills, I had an epiphany of sorts.
I'm not upset about getting fired. My finances and future as a bartender are going to be fine. What I'm actually upset about though?
Yesterday I got somewhere in the neighborhood of 25-30 emails from various people. 95 percent of the emails were kind and supportive. I even received an email from the Robert Grey campaign (a man I mercilessly make fun of) that supported me as a blogger and laughed at the absurdity of this whole situation. People from all walks of life were inviting me out for drinks and generally just being very nice. The one group I did not hear from though is the Pantele camp.
I'm not saying that I'm some huge blogger that everyone and their mother reads (I'm not at all), but I'd be willing to bet that Pantele or his people read about me getting fired. Well, stand up and give me an answer Bill. Was I fired because of phone calls made from your people? Was getting blogged about while you were on the campaign trail that disturbing?
I certainly don't deserve any answers, but I think the fine voters of Richmond probably do. We need a mayor who is open and honest with the public, even on trivial matters such as this.
In the meantime I'll be waiting patiently, although I'll probably be waiting patiently as I'm all curled up and back in bed. This unemployment thing is exhausting.
*According to VA ABC law, beer pong is illegal to play in bars. The way around this is to put water in the cups, in lieu of beer.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I was fired from one of my bartending gigs tonight. I wasn't fired for my ability, my attitude or for anything performance related. I was fired for something I wrote on my blog.
A few weeks ago I posted something about a Richmond Mayorial candidate and about how I bartended for him. (Click on "Richmond" for the post in question.) The candidate I bartended for was City Council President Bill Pantele. The posting itself is meant to be funny and does not speak poorly of Pantele, and infact up until an hour ago, I was endorsing Pantele for Mayor. Really the post is a light-hearted joke about how much I would like the guy as our mayor.
The story, as I was told by my manager when she canned me tonight is this: The restaurant, or I should say a consultant for the restaurant received two separate calls from people who are either associated with Pantele's campaign or our Pantele supporters. They came across my blog after the Style Weekly article involving my dust up with Channel 6 last week raised a ruckus and got me a bunch of attention. The people who called were not happy about their guy getting blogged about, especially considering the fact that they were paying the restaurant to hold the fundraiser (although who actually "paid", if anyone, is another story for another time) and that their designated bartender was the one who wrote about Pantele.
The restaurant then told me that they cannot have other politicos or city big wigs hearing that they have a bartender who blogs because it might disuade them from coming to the restaurant or using the restaurant for their functions.
At first I backpeddled and I said that I would take down the posts and would never blog about the restaurant again, but then I calmed down and really started thinking about this situation. I realize now that I can't back down. It wouldn't be me and it wouldn't be the person I want to become. I understand why I got fired, and that's that.
Bartending gigs come and go and I'll probably have another by next week. But a situation like this, well, I can't just ignore it. It would be against everything this blog is about, which if you didn't know, is me doing and saying whatever I think about (within the law of course).
The real questions here are, did Pantele indirectly get me fired? Or did one of his bonehead lackies make the call without his knowledge? If, and I'm not saying this as truth, Pantele was outraged and then orchestrated those calls? Hmmm. "Local politician goes to a public place (a restaurant), someone writes truthfully about him, he threatens restaurant, and 25 year old bartender loses job for trying to get more civically involved." Not a pretty headline. I guess running for mayor makes you immune to bloggers?
It doesn't sound good for Pantele or his campaign. Although I will say this again, I have no proof that anyone involved with him or his campaign made those calls. I'm only repeating the reasons given to me by the restaurant for my termination. I was told multiple times by my manager that they love having me there and they love my work behind the bar, and that this was an extremely tough situation for them. The reason I was given for getting fired was my blog. Plain and simple.
I don't blame the restaurant and I truly adore my managers and co-workers there. I put them in a tough spot and they did what they had to do. I'll miss that bar and I hate to make this into another shitstorm because it will probably look bad on their part too. Although let's be real honest here, more controversy surrounding this blog and I, will only hurt my chances in the future of landing "real" jobs. It hurts my reputation in certain circles. In a sense I guess I'm sort of taking a fall here, but I feel I've been wronged and I won't just lie down. I'M NOT STATING THIS AS FACT, but in my opinion, I lost my job because the restaurant was threatened by the oh-so powerful Bill Pantele campaign and they got scared. Again, this is all based on hearsay and I'm not saying that this is the stone cold, lead pipe reason that I'm not employed there anymore. It is strictly my semi-informed opinion.
Maybe something will come of this, maybe it won't. I always read those stories about bloggers losing their jobs because of their blog, I just never thought it would happen to me. It speaks to the tightassery of Richmond. In a city like NYC, this is a blip on the radar, a joke. Up until an hour ago I had never even considered taking the blog down, now, well, I'm flirting with the idea.
This goes without saying but I'm now de-endorsing Bill Pantele for the next Mayor of Richmond.
The reason I mention this is because I have a coffee date before work today with a girl that I think could safely be called beautiful. Okay okay, so I realize coffee dates are the worst possible idea, but with my work schedule this week I found that it was the only way that I could actually see this girl without being behind the bar and serving her drinks (although I'm definately not counting that out as date # 2).
I know nothing about her except her name, her drinking habits (we met when she was one of my customers this past weekend), and what she looks like. I know she looks good, so that's 90 % of the battle right there.
Without alcohol or the nighttime involved I may have to resort to just being myself.
Let's face it, I'm fucked.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Bill Gates may have a million times more money than me, but he isn’t going to live a million times longer than me, watch a million times more sunsets than me, make love to a million times more women than me, drink a million times more fine wines than me, listen to a million times more Beethoven String Quartets than me, nor sire a million times more children than me. Human beings don't scale. - Hugh MacLeod "Gapingvoid.com"
Thursday, October 9, 2008
I slowly pushed myself up and looked down as I pulled out. The condom had blood on it and I noticed that my thighs also had some little traces of red.
Me: "Well I have some great news for you."
Her: "What's that?"
Me: "It turns out you're not pregnant after all!"
Her: (she looks down and smiles) "That, or you just killed our baby you murderer!"
I held myself up on one arm and we gave each other a high five, and with that we both collapsed in laughter.
Me: (giggling) "It's still super early. We can still catch McDonalds breakfast!"
Her: "This day just keeps getting better."
Sometimes it's the little things that tend to make you smile the most.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Check out the article for a good laugh. In the 12 hours that this article has been on every street corner, restaurant and grocery store in Richmond, I've already received 15 texts/calls from people I haven't spoken to in months. I'm almost afraid of what this week holds in store for me now.
I'm going to try and make this the last time I mention Channel 6 and this whole incident. I feel like I'm basically poking a huge bear with a stick right now. It's funny, but I doubt that bear (channel 6) intends to stay quiet much longer.
20 bucks earns you entry and a shitty wine glass. I would've been better off going down the street to NY Deli and buying 10 bottles of PBR, which taste wise, would've rivaled the stuff at the festival. And I did infact end up drinking about 10 bottles of PBR throughout the course of the night, but I'll get to that fiasco in a minute.
My issues with the wine fest:
- The wait. You wait and you wait and you wait at each tent (there were only 5-6 tents) and then you get 4 teeny-tiny squirts of whatever rotgut, sitting out in the sun, cheap ass VA wine the wineries decided to trot out. The exception was the Peaks Of Otter tent, which isn't actually wine, but more like alcoholic fruit juices. Here they give you 15 "squirts" in a row of their fruity concoctions, including the spicy chili pepper wine (which is like taking a shot of tabasco sauce). Also if I remember correctly, Horton winery made their tent the other worthwhile tent due to a quick process and over 11 wines to sample. I'm not saying that either of these tents provided good wine, I'm just saying that their process and number of wines made it somewhat bearable. What usually happens at these things is I get impatient and end up purchasing a bottle, which may be the wineries intent all along; Bore the crowd into a stupor and force them to make a purchase so they don't have to deal with the lines and the people.
- The help. Okay so I may be used to standing for long hours, pouring drinks and forcing a mile wide smile, so maybe it's wrong of me to complain. But c'mon, 90 percent of the "wine volunteers" had all the personality of a brick wall. I understand that I look like I'm 20 years old, but that doesn't mean you have to be a bitch and not explain the wines and the process. I got passed over a few times in favor of some bluehairs behind me. I also got to witness one volunteer be a complete bitch to a young African-American couple because they asked to retaste one of the wines. My suggestion to wineries: When conducting taste tests at a festival where people pay at the gate, find some help who knows what they're doing.
I want my money back. They can have the wine glass. The only cool part of the festival is the Peaks tent and that's only because it's like getting to taste a bunch of magic markers.
I enjoy good wine, I like learning about wines and I like to experience things that I never have before. I even took a job in sales with a small wine distributor in DC before deciding to start bartending full-time. I attended this festival to enjoy my Sunday and to drink some good wine, not to get shit-housed. Well, the Carytown Wine Festival failed me on all counts.My date and I ended up leaving and bouncing to a few bars on Cary, and then I somehow made a complete night of it at numerous other bars in the fan (where my transgressions and drunken phone calls need never be spoken of again). Lucky for my readers you can see me and my full hangover glory in tomorrow's issue of Style Weekly. I won't elaborate on why this is, but they needed a picture on the fly, on Monday, a day I spent in bed nursing the worst hangover I've had in a long time. It's not going to be pretty. Check back tomorrow for more details on the Style piece. I have a feeling that it may be a very embarrassing Wednesday for JGF.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
It doesn't matter, I'm fully prepared. My lawyer friend/drinking cohort happened to finish tops in his 1st amendment law class and he is completely prepared to defend my rights as a blogger, which to this day, are extremely vague. He also is able to maintain his composure after slamming 15 Coors Lights (Clearly I choose my attorneys based on merit).
!! Click on the preceding links for more random splish-splash regarding blogging and free speech rights !!
Anyways, what the fuck are they going to do? I already live week to week and I'm absolutely sure that I won't lose my job as a bartender for pissing off channel 6. Infact, I would welcome the conflict, because really, what else do I have to do???
Yeah.... sue me for defamation..... good luck boring media.
Regardless, I'll be back to posting about interesting stuff, like sex, booze and Richmonder's horrible tipping habits come Tuesday morning. I've already authorized someone to blog it up for me in case I go to jail. Ha.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Here's the email I received:
Jack the bartender,
I have just reviewed your blog site and I want to request that you immediately remove the false, damaging, and salacious statements you’ve made about WTVR/WUPV Anchor/Reporters Ric Young and Lee Mahaffey. If this material is not removed in 24 hours (by 500pm Thursday, October 1, 2008) I will ask our attorneys to prosecute you and your web hosts to the fullest extent of the law. If you have any questions about this request, or WTVR’s intent, contact me at the number below.
(Name Redacted) General Manager CBS 6 WTVR
Now I'm automatically going to assume that this email is a hoax because I very seriously doubt Channel 6 would get their pannies in a bunch over two funny blog posts. I'm pretty sure that when you're in the public eye you have to be able to handle the occasional joke and until a judge tells me to remove the content, I won't be removing the posts. Plus if this is a real email, the other local media outlets will undoubtedly be all over Channel 6's decision to pick on a poor blogging bartender and his webhosts (which is Google by the way), but I digress...
I'll tell you one local TV personality who can take a joke though... that's right, you guessed it, "Jimmy D" Jim Duncan. I bet Jim Duncan is reading this post right now and laughing his finely toned ass off about how his competitors are little crybabies.
Channel 6 WTVR: FAIL!!!!
PS: Juan "Muthafuckin" Conde is probably getting a good laugh about this too. That is, if he's not too busy pimp slappin supermodels and sippin on Johnnie Walker Blue. That's right, you go Juan!