-I've had to leave a sign on the front door two days in a row that says, "Hey UPS guy, knock really loud! I'm here!!! Wake me up from my coma! Don't leave!!!!" Seriously. I'm waiting on some packages (repaired lab top, cool new phone) and for whatever reason they have to be signed for, and god forbid I don't get my 4 naps a day in!
-I've convinced myself that drinking heavy is okay as long as I balance it out with 15 hours of sleep, only 300 calories a day and two hours in the gym. I tell myself this frequently.
-I got an email this morning and it contained this comment: "If you keep getting belligerent and going to 7-11, your chances of being involved in a racially charged battle to the death over the rights to your sister’s incredible ass increases 5 fold." That doesn't make sense to anyone, I know. Let's just say that the black guy that works at 7-11 was hitting on a girl I was with and then lets just say that I started faux-humping her and telling the dude that she was my sister. Lets just say all that.
- I'm averaging 7 embarrassing, I wish I could take back texts a night. That's waaaayyy above my norm.
- I've done karaoke at least 4 times in the past month.
- I made a scene, hungover, in Taco Bell today at noon. I may have cussed, really loud, in front of the 30 or so people there. But c'mon, how long does it take to make a fucking Mexican pizza?!
But really, I need to calm down. I'm lucky to have a cool, somewhat prosperous job and I'm lucky to not be in any legal trouble for anything. I need to keep it that way.