Update: An anonymous commenter informed me that Waiterrant.net posted a similar story about old people clogging up super-markets yesterday. I hadn't seen it until after I wrote this, but it's of the same vein. It goes to show that great service industry minds think alike...and that they despise old people.
This is one of those stories that I'm not proud of.
I'm in Ukrops about an hour ago after an afternoon trip to the gym. I'm walking over to pick up my usual lunch (Two BBQ Chicken breasts, small Mediterranean salad, Diet Pepsi) and as I'm about to hit a narrow corridor on my way to the pre-made poultry section, I notice this old lady pushing a cart, going in the same direction. The walkway isn't wide enough for the both of us and since this old lady is moving at the speed of a glacier, I make a hop and a skip right in front of her to ensure that I'm not caught behind her as I go to fetch my lunch. I even glance back and mutter a polite sounding, "excuse me".
Fast forward another 15 minutes. I'm done eating and I get up and throw my trash away. As I'm walking out I decide to check out some freshly baked cookies. So I turn around and I see the old lady, still shopping, still on the verge of death. She's coming towards me this time and it's another narrow walk way. She immediately stops as we near each other and goes , "hummarggrnnn, young man you should know to give me the right of way", in a tone that can best be described as "Grandpa Joe bitching at hippies". I could've just rolled my eyes and kept moving, but nooooo, Jack has to make a scene in Ukrops.
Me: "Lady, you're moving at a snail's pace and unfortunately I don't have 7 hours to spend in Ukrops today."
I didn't wait for her reaction and I made for the exit, sans any cookies.
I respect veterans and I respect the wisdom that the older generations have accrued. But c'mon! Don't they know that in some countries only doing the speed limit while in the left lane is punishable by death? Or that counting out exact change instead of just forking over a larger bill when there are 4 people in line behind you has caused 14 super-market beatdowns in the past year alone??? These are common, unspoken social rules, that apparently, anyone born before 1945 has not ever been privy to.
Is it wrong of me to say that the elderly should not be allowed on the road or amongst the general public?! Is that too much to ask? Don't we have "homes" or something for these people?
Yep, I just punched my ticket to hell.