Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Stoner Talk

Last night I attended a dinner party. Seated across from me were three 21 year old girls. I sort of had an interest in one of them, but the conversation just wasn't there and I don't think she was interested anyways. Aside from a raging physical attraction, I could barely speak to her without cringing. At the tender age of 25 I'm already tired of trying to make intelligent conversation with younger girls, which is a problem because I'm not at all tired of sleeping with younger girls.

Later on in the evening I was talking to one of my older (36) "playboy" type friends and I asked him how he can continue to put in the mind-numbing effort it takes to date these types of girls ("these types" being beautiful and dumb as a box of rocks). His immediate, deadpan response was:

"Jack, picking up young girls is like holding onto a small bird with both hands. You hold it too tight and you'll kill it. You hold it too softly and it'll fly away..."

Now keep in mind that we had just taken a few monster bowl hits and had a few glasses of wine, but for whatever reason that answer just made sense. I think it makes sense for picking up any woman, regardless of age. Of course his response didn't really answer my original question but thats neither here nor there.

My jaw still hurts from laughing so hard last night. I should really be smoking pot more often.

5 comments:

dchero said...

oh the moisties. yeah dude, it's true, all girls are moisties.

Jason said...

You get invited to dinner parties?

Rabbit said...

Jack, a seasoned panty stealer like yourself must learn to spend his time wisely. These young girls are targets of opportunity, to be taken as they come your way, not pursued vigorously. Now it's time for you to put your energy into cooler, smarter, more complex women. That's not to say some of those aren't very young, but that's the exception and not the rule.

Just remember your bachelor's oath, you can't get married without sign-off from at least three good buddies. I broke that rule once, and I will probably never escape the consequences.

.lp. said...

sticky icky icky.

Anonymous said...

Hardly young.. 15 years difference is young.