Monday, November 17, 2008

Quantum Of What The Hell Was That?

"Why yes Mr. Bond, I am a highly educated, intelligent young pencil pusher for M16, who after knowing you for 20 minutes will gladly remove my panties and let you violate every hole I've got."



I'd say don't keep reading if you haven't seen the movie, or "spoiler alert", but quite honestly, I don't really know what the fuck was going on so there's not much I can spoil.

Can anyone decipher what Quantum Of Solace was actually about? Seriously I have no idea what I was just watching. Was Bond out for revenge or out to save Bolivia's water supply? Who was the guy at the end (Vespyr's ex-boyfriend?) and why was Bond in that apartment? How does oil come into play and why do people keep ending up dead and covered in it? Did we get any closure on this QUANTUM organization? Was the dufus who played the CIA agent "Bean" a good or a bad guy? I could literally ask about 20 more questions after seeing the movie for the first time tonight.

Some thoughts:

- Daniel Craig is a bad man. His Bond is mean, a thief, a complete dickhead...and for whatever reason it works. This isn't your Pierce Brosnan, drink a martini, wink at girls and spout one-liners Bond. Regardless of how rediculous and unexplainable the story was, Craig makes the movie watchable.

- Mathieu Amalric made a weak foe. Would he actually stand a shred of a chance in a fight with Daniel Craig's Bond? Of course not, although he holds his own at the end of the movie. Doesn't Amalric remind anyone of Casino Royale's villian, Mads Mikkelsen? And what's with Amalric's little assistant guy and his Dumb and Dumber haircut?

- The Bond girl is insanely hot and for some reason Bond doesn't give her his little 007 a single time, which actually made him seem more human. It should be noted that he does sleep with a hot redhead who works at M16 and who later, big surprise here, ends up covered in oil. A funny sidenote: Bond gets the redhead in bed an hour after meeting her by asking her to "help him find the stationary" in the hotel room they just checked into. Man, if I only had a nickel for everytime that line worked...


My final take: Quantum Of Solace is not a good movie and I don't want to wait three more years for another movie that will bring some closure to all of the questions it left open.

In an effort to be more gritty and real (like the Bourne Identity series) the movie passes and fails. The fighting scenes certainly evoke Jason Bourne and the facial scars Bond carries throughout the movie give it an element of realness that previous Bonds never had, but like all Bond movies, most of the shit is just too unbelievable.

I'm a Bond fanatic so I'll be back in the theatre in a few days to try and make sense of this mess, and I would recommend it to the guy who likes car chases and crazy action sequences, just don't go for a coherent plot or storyline.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

*DON'T READ BELOW...SPOLIER**



The guy at the end is Vesper's ex. He gets with women with connections (M16, CIA, Canadian secret service, etc...) and then fakes his death. Which is how he used Vesper. He works for this "QUANTUM" organization which will develop in the next movie. Quantum supposedly is a highly developed terrorist group which has people everywhere. They were plotting to set countries for an oil race where there was no oil while making a drought in Bolivia so that these countries are spending money for the wrong resource which soon makes Quantum powerful and water the number one sought after resource.

Kyle said...

I hear watching Casino Royale immediately before seeing this is helpful... but it still sounds convoluted.

Andrew said...

So I'm not the only one that left the movie saying "Whaaaaa?"

I saw it opening night after a few too many margaritas at dinner and thought that was the reason I couldn't follow (or find) the plot. Walking out the theater I got a lot of looks from Bond fanatics when I (too loudly) told my wife and friends that I didn't get it. Somebody tried to explain it just like the first commenter and I just wanted him to stop talking.

I still don't get it and think they should stick to the formulaic Bond movies with babes, gadgets, unlimited ammo, and invincibility. At least I can understand those plots.

Benedict Smith said...

i followed it along even tho' i hadn't seen casino royale since it first hit theaters. as far as it being a departure, i liked that part. they had said this new daniel craig bit was going to be more character driven, and him when he was younger, nearer the start of his career...hence him not boffing the central character...and yeah, he's a colder, more bastard bond. bravo I say.

dchero said...

I feel like you really have to see casino royale fewer than 3 weeks before seeing this and it makes sense. I like how it just jumped into where the last one left off. Otherwise it would have been a 2.5 hour movie and I don't have time for that shit. I think this movie really delved into Craig's Bond and his internal conflicts.

All in all, it wasn't as good as the last one but it was better than any pierce brosnan bond. "you know you're a legend when they start comparing you to yourself" - Jay-Z