You know you’re just a skirt / an unfortunate
-You're inordinately excited about being said post-work
bootycall even though one of the first things he says to you upon arrival is
that your outfit does "absolutely nothing for his groin"
-You give your body to him any way he wants it (except for
one). and he scornfully says “Jesus fucking Christ” when you try to
romance his stone pre- noon
-You seriously get excited at the thought of being
conjoined at the dick with him and he lets you guzzle his saliva like he's not a
sickly aids patient.
-And perhaps the most telling- You know you’re a sucker
when…. Even after the god awful shepherds pie burps, endless
snoring that would make barry white sound like jaleel white (urkel not
steffan) the disrespectful goodbyes (or lack thereof), and the rolodex
of “scandalous ho-monsters” that he’s added you to…You still wish he was
These were some of the more humorous ones she sent me. It's difficult to find a girl who can read this blog and still tolerate my presence, so I commend her twisted sense of humor and lack of pretentiousness.
I emailed her back and told her she should start her own blog.