Wednesday, September 24, 2008

JGF Endorses A Mayorial Candidate

At lunch today I read an article in Style Weekly, "Mayorial Candidate Lands Support Of Key Hipster". Basically this 27 year old who is the co-owner of RVA Magazine and whose father is the former CEO of The Performance Food Group, a Richmond based Fortune 500 company, has thrown his support and 5,000 dollars behind mayorial candidate Robert Grey. 5 large in a mayorial campaign is akin to giving someone your kidney. That's a lot of money for local politics. I'm sure he has his reasons (something about non-profits) and I'm sure maybe some of the artists and skateboarders who read RVA Mag may throw their support to Gray because of this guys endorsement, but I don't really care about all that. The only reason I mention it is because Bob Grey was in the bar tonight for some "city power-brokers" gathering.

I wanted to corner him and ask him if he read the article in Style and if he even knew what the term hipster meant, unfortunately the bar was slammed and I was the only bartender at the time. So I was only able to watch him as he glad-handed "the power elite". Although I really hope that wasn't Richmond's power elite, because if so, we're fucked.

My take on Grey? He looks like the black guy on the Just For Men box and that's pretty much all he has going for him. I got bored just looking at him. He ordered a coke and just kept walking in circles around the bar, saying, "Hi, I'm Robert Grey". I guess that's what you do when you run for office. You smile and introduce yourself to as many people as possible. But the coke??? C'mon Bob, even Hilary Clinton took a shot of whiskey when she was campaigning in Kentucky (or was it West Virginia?).

I like my mayorial candidates to be hard livin and loud talkin and I'm afraid the soft-spoken Mr.Grey doesn't fit the bill. I'm liking Bill Pantele more and more. A fellow blogger attended the debates Tuesday and compared Pantele to George Costanza.

"Showed a lot of disrespect to the other candidates by loudly drumming his fingers on the podium and sighing loudly when someone said something he didn't like. His microphone really should have been turned off when it wasn't his turn. Made some really big promises that would happen starting January 2nd." -Read Drink and Be Merry

Fucking hilarious.

Lets be honest here, are any of the five candidates going to make that much of a difference if elected mayor? Is it even possible to make that big of a difference with all of the checks and balances we have in place, especially after Old Man Wilder made a mockery of the position? I mean really, I'm asking, I have no idea.

I think we go with the candidate who has the highest potential for entertainment value, and whether we're laughing with him or at him, Billy Pantele may be the best man in that department.

So if that 27 year old hipster I mentioned has the skateboard, bohemian artist crowd falling in line for Grey, then it's my goal to have the mid-twenties, refuse to get a real job, hard drinking, man-whore crowd to vote for Pantele.


Jason said...

So funny. Wait, you're not in the bohemian crowd? Get off work for Forum II.

Anonymous said...

I've seen Grey out and about before. He dresses and talks like Carlton from Fresh Prince.

Jeff E. said...

Nobody asked me but Grey and Goldman are on my short list. Pantele, while potentially entertaining, is just more of the same BS. All he has going for him is Dalal and the support of Kathy Graziano who I do respect.

elvis said...

wasn't pantele the one behind the whole "party patrol" thing in the fan?

I'm not sure how many of the mid-twenties, refuse to get a real job, hard drinking, man-whore crowd are down with the party patrol.

if you want entertainment, let's start a write-in campaign to re-elect wilder or revive dirtwoman's campaign.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Pantele is really hilarious.

Sunny said...

Dude, happy birthday?!

Noticed the age update in your introduction. Here's to another year of drunken introspection and skirt-chasing.

HEK said...

Hokay, Jack.

Here's the deal.

This is the most important city election, with the potential for momentous effects on the city and region, than there's been here since...well. Almost ever.

You'd have to go back to early 20th century, but even that's not quite right. For most of that time, until one of the three charter changes, the mayor was a figurehead -- a ribbon cutter.

The one strong mayor of the mid-20th century, the most oxymoronically named Dr.Fulmer Bright, was so arch conservative he had to be sued to appoint a public health officer. He ran the city through the Depression.

We got the council-manager system then dumped that for the present, and this is the first real test of how well it'll work -- or won't.

If people are upset at the quality of the candidates, then, well. One of the carpers needs to run. Democracy begins at home.

Whatever you do -- and I don't mean you, Jack, but in general-- don't sit at home then complain about the outcome.

This is not about fixed machines and power politics--it's about getting side walks fixed, potholes filled and schools built, and innovative ways of approaching city governance and regional cooperation.

In some ways, voting in the city election is more important than the general, as it will affect you in the most direct way.

Thus endeth the sermon.

The One and Only Ridor said...

Guys, guys, I'd make a good Mayor, serious case.

I'd lobby for bars to open 'til 3:59:59 AM like New York City.

I'd push for a couple of brand-new iconic, taller building like 55-story high. There are too many parking garages in the city. Set up the light rail with the centralized location at Main STreet Station. Close down the Staples Mill Station as well.

Firebomb the Diamond on the Boulevard and build one gorgeous stadium in Shockoe Bottom.

OH, yeah, create a gay neighborhood district -- they'd bring millions of tax revenues in the area -- just ask Chicago, Miami, DC, Philadelphia and Los Angeles.

I'd hire Jack to be my personal bartender ...

HOw's that, guys?