Noooooo, it's not what you think. And really, would I advertise an STD over the blog? Would that help my chances with lonely U of R girls???
No, I have this condition called Tinea Versicolor,which is basically a skin condition that causes hives. I've had it since I was about ten and it comes and it goes. This summer it got worse due to the irrepressible heat so I went to the docs today and he prescribed an oral medication, the same one that cleared up the condition about 6 years ago. I guess it never really goes away, but this medication should clear it up for a few years. The point of this post, other than to let you ladies know that it's not contagious and that I'm a completely healthy, disease-free young man?
To bitch about health insurance.
I ponied up the loot 5 months ago and got health insurance because, believe it or not, bartenders aren't offered benefits. I know, it's BS. I'm in a profession where I constantly deal with drunken assholes, throw my body over a bar to break up fights, handle broken glass and have random, unprotected sex with waitresses, yet these bars still don't feel that I need protection from the high cost of emergency room visits and prescription drugs.
Anyways, I picked the cheapest monthly plan from Anthem and that was that. I figured the only time that I would need it, if ever, was in the case of a beer bottle to the face (which has happened once), or if there's another flash flood in Shockoe Bottom and I'm forced to use the gangrenous remains of my bar manager to float to higher ground. All unlikely scenarios.
So I go into Walgreens to get my pills and come to find out that I have a huge deductible for prescription drugs and I end up having to pay 200 dollars for 14 pills. I felt like one of those old people who can't afford their meds. You know, the ones they always profile in Michael Moore movies and pieces on Dateline.
I guess I should've done a bit more research before I submitted myself to a health insurance provider. Damn the man!
But again, and I stress, I do not have any sexually transmitted diseases...Regardless of what the lady at the front desk of my doctors office thought, or the beautiful pharmacy chick at Walgreens thought, or that new hot stylist who cut my hair thought when I told her I had just gone to the doctors for a skin condition.
Why is it that I have to run into a bunch of pretty girls on a Monday, a day I feel like shit, a day I'm unshaven and wearing a holey t-shirt and a day that I have a bag of pills in my hand for a "skin condition"??? Clearly God is punishing me for having so many good-looking women sit in front of me on a nightly basis at the bar.