Monday, September 15, 2008

I Have A Rash And Shitty Health Insurance


Noooooo, it's not what you think. And really, would I advertise an STD over the blog? Would that help my chances with lonely U of R girls???

No, I have this condition called Tinea Versicolor,which is basically a skin condition that causes hives. I've had it since I was about ten and it comes and it goes. This summer it got worse due to the irrepressible heat so I went to the docs today and he prescribed an oral medication, the same one that cleared up the condition about 6 years ago. I guess it never really goes away, but this medication should clear it up for a few years. The point of this post, other than to let you ladies know that it's not contagious and that I'm a completely healthy, disease-free young man?

To bitch about health insurance.

I ponied up the loot 5 months ago and got health insurance because, believe it or not, bartenders aren't offered benefits. I know, it's BS. I'm in a profession where I constantly deal with drunken assholes, throw my body over a bar to break up fights, handle broken glass and have random, unprotected sex with waitresses, yet these bars still don't feel that I need protection from the high cost of emergency room visits and prescription drugs.

Anyways, I picked the cheapest monthly plan from Anthem and that was that. I figured the only time that I would need it, if ever, was in the case of a beer bottle to the face (which has happened once), or if there's another flash flood in Shockoe Bottom and I'm forced to use the gangrenous remains of my bar manager to float to higher ground. All unlikely scenarios.

So I go into Walgreens to get my pills and come to find out that I have a huge deductible for prescription drugs and I end up having to pay 200 dollars for 14 pills. I felt like one of those old people who can't afford their meds. You know, the ones they always profile in Michael Moore movies and pieces on Dateline.

I guess I should've done a bit more research before I submitted myself to a health insurance provider. Damn the man!

But again, and I stress, I do not have any sexually transmitted diseases...Regardless of what the lady at the front desk of my doctors office thought, or the beautiful pharmacy chick at Walgreens thought, or that new hot stylist who cut my hair thought when I told her I had just gone to the doctors for a skin condition.

Why is it that I have to run into a bunch of pretty girls on a Monday, a day I feel like shit, a day I'm unshaven and wearing a holey t-shirt and a day that I have a bag of pills in my hand for a "skin condition"??? Clearly God is punishing me for having so many good-looking women sit in front of me on a nightly basis at the bar.


RVA Foodie said...

Did you try asking for a generic?

After years of different doctors, I finally got prescribed a drug that worked on my migraines. Only, my state employee version of Anthem insurance would only cover four pills per month, after that, it was $47.50 per pill.

God Bless America.

Anonymous said...

or here is an idea.. most staffing agencies provide benefits if you work eight hours in a 30 day period. FULL health benefits.

Anonymous said...

or the fact that you live with your mom is finally catching up with you. all-talk/well-endowed or not, at some point you gotta be able to pay up.

Anonymous said...

Not to go all political and crap but the real problem is that most standalone health insurance is catastrophe insurance and not every day health insurance.

Health insurance is a full employment benefit in the US that is subject to all sorts of exceptions; e.g. not portable and insane waiting periods or pre-existing condition limits.

To get full health benefits in the public market you have to pay sick amounts of money. To do a national health care system, people worry about rationing care. But we ration care today, we just do it by forcing people like you to pay full freight or putting your similarly situated bar keeps in the uninsured pool or discouraging preventative care. I for one think we can do better than letting the marketplace ration our care based on ability to pay. I think we can do better as a nation.

Robot Boy said...

yeah, you can imagine what I have to pay for my HIV cocktail every month.

Just kidding!

Brie said...

So sorry to hear that dude--it is no fun to be sick or covered in a rash. Hope you feel better soon.

RVA Foodie--as a fellow migraine condolences. But you found a pill that actually WORKS?


Rudy said...

That blows. I kept my insurance from my last "real job" COBRA program, lets you pay the monthlys your former employer was ponying up and keep your coverage for a year or so after you leave said "real job"

Richmondite said...

You should start a bartenders union. You could be the Jimmy Hoffa of the bartending community.

Jim Duncan said...

Dude, stop trying so hard to get laid off this blog. Mix in some actual attempt at other topics with your must-mention-something-sex-related-every-2-sentences fetish, and things might improve for you.

Anonymous said...

Duncan- Did you just start reading this blog? People come to it because Jack waxes poetic about sex and his life. It's entertaining and I don't think he cares if it's anything otherwise .

Go check out the Huffington Post if you want more substance.

The One and Only Ridor said...

jim duncan: Shaddaup -- I like the way Jack is doing so far.

Leave it alone.

This brought a memory of mine -- I was 13 at Peoples Drug (Remember it before it was purchased by CVS, I believe?), my Mom (we are Deaf and use American Sign Language to communicate on daily basis) and I wandered through one of these aisles and we bumped into one illiterate Deaf woman who came in the store to pick up the medications.

When she saw my mother, she asked her to explain the notes that the Doctor was telling her (It is my belief that doctors *must* get interpreters to communicate because the issues surrounding one's health is complicated at its best!) and this woman could not completely understand.

My mother read the notes and said, "YOU HAVE VD!"

My eyes darted back to the woman who turned pale.

Poor woman. Remember it was in early 1980s. LOL.


Anonymous said...

I remember back in the 60s & 70s. Some guys would go to the Free Clinic to meet "chicks". They couldn't understand why they kept getting the gleet.