Monday, August 18, 2008

Weddings and Jack Don't Mix


I attended the wedding of a good friend on Saturday. He looked happy, the bride looked happy, and as sad as it is to see another one bite the dust, I do wish them the absolute best. Judging by the looks on their faces and the ceremony itself, I think they're going to do just fine. I've given him enough shit so this is me giving my approval, not that it matters to him. Now onto the real point of this post:

Weddings just aren't for me...and I'm not just saying that I don't want to get married (I definately don't), I'm also saying that I don't want to attend anymore weddings either.


---I like the fact that most weddings are unmitigated booze and pickup fests because that clearly fits my style. I like hanging out with close friends and drinking for free also...big surprise there. And if the women of this weekends past wedding hadn't already been forewarned of my, ummm, loose morals when it comes to relationships and sex, I would've enjoyed chatting up the 2-3 attractive ones that were in attendance.
on the flipside...

---I don't like having to make fake conversation and get disapproving looks when I explain to older people that I quit my "real" job to bartend fulltime. I don't like the slack-jawed idiots in their twenties, who are already married, smirking at my lifestyle and my refusal to join their ranks. I don't really like mixing with people who I have nothing in common with either (99 percent of the wedding).

Afterwards we went out on Southside to our neighborhood bar. For a day that involved a wedding and an open bar, it was a pretty tame night, disappointing actually. Too much drinking combined with no women and a dead bar scene makes Jack a dull boy (as if you couldn't already tell that from this weak ass blog post.)
I think I'd have more fun at a wedding where I didn't know anybody.

I've decided that the movie Wedding Crashers has ruined me for weddings. It makes everything look so grandiose, so easy, and of course in the movie there are plenty of pretty girls to choose from (which is never the case!) Oh well, maybe the next 20 or so (ill-advised) weddings I get to attend in the next couple of years will change my opinion. I can't wait to find out. Woo... Hoo...

2 comments:

PinkFish said...

You have just described feelings commencerate with a SPURMO Single Proud UnaRried Man Over 30... we still a bit young to qualify but the sentiments are there. Here's the link - good for a laugh brit humor http://www.spurmo.com/
Also
My buddy got married last month, very slim pickings, plenty of girls, all over 180 lbs... I think I got one of the light heavy weights on a woodpile behind the bar at the after drinking spot. Her lesbo partner had some words with me at brunch the next day. Turned out she was the brides cousin and the whole family was thrilled that she got 1) poked by a dude 2) said dude had all of his teeth and was gainfully employed 3) she sent her lezzie friend home.

Result? I drove from NY to DC not stopping once or letting my spedometer drop below 90.

Benedict Smith said...

yeah, the faux need of mid 20's married couples to casually make it seem like they're "happy" and therefore by extension that I am "not" makes me uncontrollably roll my eyes for what feels like hours. mix that in with booze and the unspoken question of "when are you getting married?" and i'm not so big on weddings either.