Monday, August 4, 2008

Lies I Tell Girls

- Well yeah, I mean, I bartend full-time to make ends meet, but I actually quit the real world because I'm a writer and I needed time to sit down and really put down my thoughts and my ideas. I'm exploring life without the harness of a 9 to 5 and it's a beautiful thing. (Something along these lines has been said to at least 35 women and it's not a complete fabrication, although I'm not sure how much I believe it.)

- I played basketball in college as a walk on, just for a year though. The rigors of practice and study halls and curfews were taking away from my whole "college" experience. (Said to multiple former college athletes)

- I've done the whole relationship thing a few times, but right now I'm just so busy with work and life that I'm not sure how good of a boyfriend I would actually be, although I feel like I've matured so much in the past year or two. I'm certainly ready to try again and see if I can be that great boyfriend, I'm just waiting for the right girl I guess (This one tends to excuse my outrageousness and stunted emotional growth to pretty much anyone who will listen. Like almost anything, it's not about the words, it's all about the delivery.)
- This never happens to me.... Maybe I drank too much this evening.

- I swear the number isn't that high, regardless of what you've heard.

- No I'm not a "sex fiend". (I said this the other night as I was defending myself from an unmitigated, playful attack from a group of girls who frequent one of my bars.)

- I graduated with a degree in Philosophy from NYU. (For some reason this just came out the other night. I think it was because I had watched the movie Roadhouse earlier that day for the 20th time, and in the movie Patrick Swayze's character, the Zen bouncer Dalton, also graduated from NYU with a degree in Philosophy. And lets face it, Dalton is a raging badass.)

- Yeah I remember you. From... ummm... That night, at that bar.

- My blog persona is just a character, just a platform for me to write. I'm actually very different from Jack Goes Forth.


Benedict Smith said...

the only lie i tell them is that i'm single. :)

Anonymous said...

do you need to lie to get laid?

dchero said...

1. I say "art history" instead of philosophy
2. Roadhouse is the greatest movie ever made, end of story
3. I started calling my blog "a place for the thoughts I'm not sure if I full believe, a place to explore abstract ideas". m-o-n-e-y

Anonymous said...

They're dissing your hero, bro.

J.Woods said...

I have a bad habit of not lying enough. I usually end up saying something brutally honest and end up pissing chicks off.

I get some weird satisfaction out of it though.

Benedict Smith said...

i like throwing salt in my own game sometimes as well....the devil always whispers in my ear "be as ridiculous as possible and see if she's still interested...." the oddest of games to be sure.

Sunny said...

"Like almost anything, it's not about the words, it's all about the delivery."