Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Foreigners Put JGF On Tilt

Spanish Exchange Student: I'll have Vodka.

Me: (immediately sighing) Vodka and what?

SES: Vodka.

Me: Yeah I heard ya, do you want a straight shot of vodka? on the rocks? with cranberry?

SES: Vodka.

(I roll my eyes and pour the guy a straight shot of vodka in a cup.)

SES: Where is ice?

Me: Hmmm (forcing a smile), you want ice in that?

SES: Ice. Yes.

(I take a shaker tin and empty some ice into the cup. The Spaniard still stands at the bar and stares at me. There are 5 other people waiting for me but he refuses to budge.)

Me: Need anything else there bud?

SES: Juice? Ahhhh, Vodka, juice.

Me: You want a mixer?? Any particular juice?

SES: Juice.

(I grab his cup and put OJ in it. He smiles and walks away and I'm barely able to contain my rage as I continue serving customers. Instead of pounding out 10 drinks, I spent 2 minutes trying to decipher what type of drink someone, who I know for a fact will not be tipping me, wants.)

Imagine this scenario played out 25 times a night. It can put me a bit on edge. Of course if I had the choice I'd be in Spain pissing off bartenders with my poor grasp of their language, instead of serving illiterate Spaniards here in Richmond, so I can't blame these people that much.


Anonymous said...

Cheesebugah cheesbugah pepsi..

Anonymous said...

Yeah, tell 'em un cerveza, por favor. Or get them to hire a translator.

.lp. said...

you are kinda rude.
and ignorant.
welcome to america.
that "ses"
is in this country.
spending his money.
furthering our economy.
and if he doesnt tip you.
go back to your nine to five and stop slinging liquid motivation to hipster douche's who only talk in aim slang.

juice and vodka.
cant be that hard to figure out.

roissy said...

ha. amusing. the bartenders at my local hangout have taken to reminding the euro patrons before they even whip out their money that there is tipping in america. the frustration with the tipless euros has stripped away niceties.

Anonymous said...

lp- Foreigners enriching the local economy is one thing, but foreigners feigning ignorance of our tipping customs and being general pains in the ass is another.

And clearly from your super cool writing style, you are the hipster douche.

.lp. said...

hey guy.
there are plenty of well off.
well bred americans.
that take pleasure in "feigning ignorance of our tipping customs and being general pains in the ass "
but i dont see people calling them out.
i ve been a waitress ive been a bartender.
think about americans in other countries.
and how stupid we sound.
asking for absinthe in Amsterdam.

bottom line.
their are assholes.
all over the world.
and most of them dont tip.

Ava V. said...

haha little floaters. next time leave the seat up, it will be another great surprise. i hate cats.

Jocelyn Testes-Harder said...

i'm gonna tip Jack.
in rubbers.
dry ones.

M said...

Ah my favorite. Orders of "juice" and "beer"...just makes me want to go to restaurants and tell the waiter I want "food".

And seriously, Jack has a right to be angry at people feigning ignorance because you know what? He doesn't make a dime off them.

Bottom line: You will have some customers that will not tip you at all, and some that will tip the shit out of you. It all evens out. He has a right to be happy about those that tip well, and pissed about those who don't.

Jake said...

Just so you know, as a native speaker of English, "illiterate" means that a person can't READ.

I can only assume you get all kind of irritating customers, but it's only "foreign" ones who get this kind of reaction? I think it's about time people here get used to the idea that the U.S. is a multilingual society! Just learning ONE other language (best bet is probably Spanish) can do a world of good.

Anonymous said...

you're a bartender dude... get over it. a fucking monkey could do your job. i would actually prefer that...

Anonymous said...

I'd love to see all the people who say "a monkey could do" a bartender's job actually try to tend bar or wait tables for a day to a week. The amount of multi-tasking, people skills, and pride-swallowing required is tremendous. You have to deal with personalities of customers, other servers, management, and quite possibly, kitchen staff. Not to mention being a walking Rolodex of drink recipes - AND making them actually taste good...not that it matters, because oftentimes people will bitch that they cant taste the alcohol and require more booze to ruin was a well-made drink.

Your servers/bartenders aren't just people in monkey's jobs to have orders shouted at. They are often people working their way through college. Or, in Jack's case, people with college degrees who are just trying to bay their bills while figuring out what lies ahead for them in life. They may be Mom's trying to pay for health insurance because their other job doesn't offer enough coverage. You never know.

They have a story, just like you do. Please dont' assume they're a piece of shit just because of their vocation. They're people trying to do a job and earn money. Their money depends on you not being a tool. If they provide quality service, tip accordingly.