I've been frequenting a new girls apartment lately. We've gotten pretty comfortable with each other but I've developed two bad habits that she has decided to point out to me. One of the habits I do on purpose and the other I sort of inadvertently commit.
Pre-sex, or during the "introduction of the condom" phase, I usually rip the condom out and toss the wrapper, well, anywhere I want. The floor, the nightstand, under the bed, under a pillow, at her cat... At that moment, I'm definately not thinking about where the wrapper will end up.
Post-sex, or during the "get this defiled piece of plastic off of my junk" phase, I usually hop up after the requisite cuddle, kiss, assorted moans and what not, and go to the bathroom where I drop the condom in the toilet, pee and then flush. I then put the lid and cover down because I'm afraid her cat will drown if I don't cover the water.
What I haven't realized is that the flusher has to be held down for a few extra seconds to enable a complete, cleansing the bowl-type flush. So after I've left her apartment for the past 2-3 times, she has not only found various condom wrappers all over her place, she also gets to witness the remains of multiple condoms floating in her toilet. To her credit, she refers to them as "Jack Treats".
Why am I blogging about this? Other than to gross out my Mom and my various friends and family who read the blog, I'm not sure, but for you Richmond males out there who routinely have sex in Fan district apartments... Always check to see if the condom went down the pipes. Most of these old apartments have really low-flow toilets.
Jack Goes Forth: Having frank discussions on condom etiquette since January 08'