Monday, August 25, 2008

Condoms, Condoms Everywhere!!!

I've been frequenting a new girls apartment lately. We've gotten pretty comfortable with each other but I've developed two bad habits that she has decided to point out to me. One of the habits I do on purpose and the other I sort of inadvertently commit.

Pre-sex, or during the "introduction of the condom" phase, I usually rip the condom out and toss the wrapper, well, anywhere I want. The floor, the nightstand, under the bed, under a pillow, at her cat... At that moment, I'm definately not thinking about where the wrapper will end up.

Post-sex, or during the "get this defiled piece of plastic off of my junk" phase, I usually hop up after the requisite cuddle, kiss, assorted moans and what not, and go to the bathroom where I drop the condom in the toilet, pee and then flush. I then put the lid and cover down because I'm afraid her cat will drown if I don't cover the water.

What I haven't realized is that the flusher has to be held down for a few extra seconds to enable a complete, cleansing the bowl-type flush. So after I've left her apartment for the past 2-3 times, she has not only found various condom wrappers all over her place, she also gets to witness the remains of multiple condoms floating in her toilet. To her credit, she refers to them as "Jack Treats".

Why am I blogging about this? Other than to gross out my Mom and my various friends and family who read the blog, I'm not sure, but for you Richmond males out there who routinely have sex in Fan district apartments... Always check to see if the condom went down the pipes. Most of these old apartments have really low-flow toilets.

Jack Goes Forth: Having frank discussions on condom etiquette since January 08'

37 comments:

Robot Boy said...

I'll make a note of it.

Jennifer said...

Your mom is probably just glad you use condoms consistently.

[F]oxymoron said...

Hilarious read... and I suppose it is good to know if I ever pass through the Fan district.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure if this crossed your mind, but most girls tend to have trash cans in their bathrooms. You could go that route.

Z said...

just fyi, we used to do the flushing thing. until it clogged the toilet horribly. i think they get stuck, after awhile it will be a bigger problem than just her getting "jack treats" =)

this is if her toilet/plumbing is shitty. no pun intended.

The Dude said...

Condoms are so 90's. The new rage these days is the pull-out.

MoJezz said...

A guy I knew said that he took his used condoms and disposed of them outside of the girl's home. He also bought his own condoms. After a nasty scare, he was convinced the lady picked up a used condom or tampered with the ones she provided.

btw, I see that no one took the bait on the multiple condoms and wrappers issue. I assume that either your new girls is an infrequent user of her bathroom or Jack Treats are plural for a reason.

Anonymous said...

Don't flush your condoms. That wastes water, energy used to clean water, and kills wildlife. Just throw them in the trash. That's the environmentally correct thing to do.

Benedict Smith said...

Jack Treats....lol. I almost spit my coffee out all over my laptop monitor. :) hehehe. thanks for that.

Anonymous said...

oh shit, you get drunk and, like, fuck girls. oh shit.

Anonymous said...

you don't flush condoms. i mean for fuck's sake, there's a reason you're a bartender. hint: you're a dumbass

roosh said...

I wrap condoms up in some toilet paper before flushing it because I'm paranoid it won't go down.

Definitely gotta flush it. Cant have a girl going through the used condom in the trash to impregnate herself.

Mike said...

*Flushing* condoms? WTF? There are a very few things that should be flushed down a toilet's drain and released into the sewage system. I don't see why condoms need to be one of them. Throw them in the trash dude.

Anonymous said...

I can't understand all this nonsense abput not flushing your used condom. I a;ways flush my used rubbers and never have any difficulty, seems the best disposal.

Anonymous said...

I can't understand all this nonsense abput not flushing your used condom. I a;ways flush my used rubbers and never have any difficulty, seems the best disposal.

Anonymous said...

Dispite warnings not to flush used condoms, I have always disposed of my used rubbers down the toilet. Neve5 had one fail to flush ok, seems the best disposal.

Anonymous said...

I have flushed a large number of rubbers down the toilet after sex and never had one fail to flush without any trouble. I highly recommend this disposal.

Anonymous said...

Its a damn poor toilet that can't flush a used condom.

Anonymous said...

When my girlfriend and I firstbegan fucking at her apartmentI had a problem disposing of the used rubbers. She didn't want them in her wastebasket and suggested I flush hem down the oilet and thats where they all go now after glorious love making.

Anonymous said...

did this idea that condoms can't be flushed?I have proved many times that this is the best disposal.

Anonymous said...

How did this idea that condoms can't be flushed? For years it has been the prefered disposal used by most all condom users.

Anonymous said...

My girlfriend and I always use a rubber when we fuck to avoid an unwanted pregnancy. as there are others in her apartment she doesn't want evidence of our love making in her wastebasketI always fuish our used rubbers down rhe toilet without any problem.It works perfectly.

Anonymous said...

For years the reccomended disposal of a used condom was to flush it down the toilet. It is still the best disposal.

Anonymous said...

For years the reccomended disposal of a used condom was to flush it down the toilet. It is still the best disposal.

Anonymous said...

Most condom users flush their used rubbers. I know I always do without any trouble.

Anonymous said...

I always thought the proper disposal of used condoms was to flush them down the toilet, nw they tell me thats a no no.

Anonymous said...

I always flush because I don't want my roommate finding my used condom in the trash can and asking me a ton of questions about who I fucked.

When I lived alone this wasn't a problem - now it's a necessity.

Anonymous said...

Don't most people dispose of used condoms by flushing down the toilet. I always do as it seems the neatest way to go and works just fine.

Anonymous said...

Word is tou are not supposed to flush condoms, but I always do without any problem. Seems the best disposal.

Anonymous said...

many years the advice was to flush your used condoms down the toilet. It is still the best disposal and works flawlessly.

Anonymous said...

Best way to dispose used condoms is just flush rhem down the toilet.

Anonymous said...

I don't believe all these stories about toilets plugged with condoms. I have flushed hundreds of rubbers after sex and my toilet still works fine.

Anonymous said...

I don't believe these stories about toilets plugging up with flushed condoms.I always flush my rubbers after sex and have never had a single problem doing so and thats a lot of condoms.

Anonymous said...

You are not suposed to fluah your condom after sex, iut I will until a better disposal os suggested.Toilet flushing is the best disposal, by far.

Anonymous said...

When my girlfriend avd I first began fucking we used a rubber. After wonderful love making I was going to put the rubber in the wastebasket, but she took it and flushed it down the toilet and said thats the best disposal. How right she was.

Anonymous said...

'Doesn't everybody flush their rubbers down the toilet after use?

Sugar Lips said...

ummmmmm........... i am just lmfao that is hallarious keep up the funny shit