Thursday, August 7, 2008

Bartender Turns Lemons Into Lemonade

Last night was a slow one at the bar. Two bartenders were on and we decided to go down to one in an effort to increase the other bartenders tip money (by making the split a bit more even). Since I was the opening bartender and had already put more hours in, I got cut around 9 PM.

Getting cut early is sort of a double edged sword. I get out early and I'll still get to reap the benefits of tips the other bartender makes after I'm gone, so that's pretty cool. On the flipside, I get out early in the middle of downtown with nothing but pent-up energy. "Making" money turns into "spending" money.

So of course I get some drinks and begin texting all the names in my harem, I mean my phonebook. If I'm not going to work, I might as well do something productive (which in this instance was sex).

I won't get into too much detail, but I will repeat this conversation that happened in my car last night:

Her: "Yeah, they're real"

Me: "Umm, Cool"

Her: "Yeah I just got em pierced too"

Me: "I see that"

Her: "The agency pays me more now because of my tits."

Me: "The Agency?..... The C.I.A?" (I ask in mock suspense)

Her: "Whats the C.I.A?"

Me: *Sighing

It's difficult to have a meaningful conversation with 19 year olds.


Anonymous said...

listen. your writing is fine the way it is. it's engaging, it's easy to follow, your voice is a smooth, efficient vehicle for basically whatever it is you're trying to say. you don't have to "change" anything, you don't need any further "development," you don't have to "get" anywhere.

just stop writing about fucking pussy and pick a subject that compels you -- or make pussy compelling in a novel form.

and stop blogging. it's shit.

Battery Park Blisters said...

ha ha ha - what is the CIA - that is funny. Last night I was watching project runway and someone mentioned Sargeant Pepper and one of the younger designers asked "what is sgt pepper".... ha ha ha ha. A lot of genius' running around.....


roosh said...

I never meet girls like that in d.c.
Trust me it's better than this shit...

her: "don't you think it's horrible when a woman surgically changes her body to please men?"

me: "uhhh"

her: "i mean they even do ass implants now... ASS IMPLANTS. i'm proud of my flat ass... it's cute!"

me: *sighing

J. Woods said...

I have a short fuse and almost no tolerance for stupid chicks.

Depending on my goal for the evening, I would either make her feel cute or like an idiotic for such idiotic statements.

I can not stand stupid sluts.

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