*Hey man, lets get shitfaced at the game tonight and then hit the bars in our uniforms... Yeah man, chicks will have to fuck us then.
I received a call a today from a close who friend who invited me to meet him downtown tonight. I said sure, I'm off work tonight, lets have a few drinks. He then told me that he was going out after kickball to Blackfinn with his kickball team and for me to meet him there.
No, no, no, NOOOOOOO.
I can't stand the neon-shirt kickball crowd. As individuals, they are fine people (a few are friends and a few have been pasty, slightly overweight, mid twenty year old flings for JGF), but as a whole, they make me vomit neon-colored puke.
I've bartended for this crowd many many many times over, also I've drank with them here and in DC (The neon-shirt mafia is taking over every major metropolitan area), and it's always the same shit. Mid twenties, out of shape, bores...swilling whatever cheap beer the bar is willing to give a special on that night. They start playing flip cup and being obnoxious, then 45 minutes later someone vomits, then there's the girl who inevitably starts crying about something, then some guy bitches about our policy of a ten dollar minimum on credit cards ( but I only wanted two beers and I don't have any cash!...wahhh!). I can't make this shit up, this is really what happens after every kickball outing.
What really drives me crazy though is their apparel. Why do you have to continue to wear your orange neon shirt, soccer socks and red,white and blue headband to the bar? The game ended two hours ago? Can't you put a change of clothes in your car? I'm not even sure I would mind if a crew of 50 kickballers walked into the bar with normal clothes on. I probably wouldn't even notice they were there.
I understand that community kickball is a great way to meet new people, I get the concept there. I guess if I wanted to meet other generic white men and women who attended JMU, Radford or Longwood, then I would probably join up too.
I'm thinking about just showing up tonight to the post kickball booze fest, only so I can snipe the one or two hot female kickballers out of the mix. When everyone is wearing puke-green colored shirts, I would guess that standing out to women is pretty easy.