Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Pre-Shift Bartender Thoughts From 2 PM

- I start picking up some shifts at a new bar this week and of course everyone is saying how I won't like the manager or I won't like this or I won't like that, blah blah, because it's Richmond and everyone has worked everywhere or knows someone who has worked somewhere or knows a friend who has a cousin who met a guy who worked somewhere. Well how about this: Let me make the Jack decisions and the Jack Mistakes (Lord knows my bad decision folder is as thick as it gets.) and I'll let you stick to being perfect.

- As I'm prone to do, I've been thinking about life too much. I have a few days off and I have a few drinks and I begin to wonder if I'm living it right (And yes I just quoted a John Mayer song. I know, I'm the gayest thing since gay to hit gaytown.) Is bartending, writing, and whatever it is that I'm actually doing the right thing? Conclusion: I need to stop thinking so much and just focus on living, working, friends, getting laid... you know, the important stuff. The future can, and will, wait.

- I saw JimDuncan in the gym again. I think he read the blog post and I think he knows it's me. I mean lets face it, he knows I'm usually there at the same time, he knows how tall I am, he knows that I have spiky hair... Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but we've all heard the ol' Richmond saying= "You don't fuck with Jim Duncan, lest you want a swift Jim Duncan judo chop to the sternum!" I think that's been a Richmond mantra for a long time, and if it isn't, it should be.

- I'm still attempting to write a book, but my work output has fallen off, not to mention my work quality (which was really never there in the first place.) So now I'm just resigned to pumping out pages of complete shit. I have no more dreams of greatness, just dreams of mediocrity.

- Man can you believe that Ho(The Bachelorette) picked Jesse over Jason! I mean...whaa? Really? I got sucked into the show because a friend was watching it and I had no choice, which after about 5 minutes didn't matter cause I was loving some Jason to win the whole damn thing.

This actually brings to mind when the Bachelorette was holding an open casting call at Element Lounge here in Richmond about 2 years ago. One of the bartenders frantically texted me and said that there were 40 women and just him at the bar. I almost killed 20 people as I sped down Main Street while getting dressed at the same time. Long story short: A bachelorette hopeful and I were caught "in flagrante delicto" in the backseat of my company car by two people walking their dog somewhere on 20th street. Not a proud moment for Jack Goes Forth, but then again, I can't say I'm very embarassed by it either.


Benedict Smith said...

ah, caught in public. a true hallmark of humor/slight distraction then back to the business/pleasure at hand. good work JGF.

Bookstore Piet said...

Ratios can always work in your favour. Living on Hilton Head in the 80's I got a call one night from a bar that I helped out at every now and then. They had a troupe of male strippers coming and needed boy bar wenches. I was more than happy to play cocktail waiter and walked away with a fortune and more than a few phone numbers stuffed into my shorts... Good times.

Jack Goes Forth said...

Benedict: Unfortunately the people who caught us started banging on the window and yelling at us, so I did what any sane person would do, hightailed it the fuck out of there and dropped the girl off (god knows where) without getting a name or a number.

Piet: Boy Bar Wench? I'm not sure I want to imagine you prancing around to The Village People and cocktailing drinks.... But then again, I would do anything for money too. ;)

Robot Boy said...

Jack, I'm thinking your job has made you a tad cynical about human nature.

Anonymous said...

To be a real cynical barstid, Jack should become an Olan Mills/ Sears portrait photographer for the kiddie-winkies.

"Smile pretty!"

Anyway, have you ever left Richmond? Or are you one of those locals who has never been west of Lexington? Grand Forks, ND needs barkeeps. Check out Happy Harry's.

carobear said...

The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.

-one of my fav HM quotes.