Friday, July 25, 2008

Karaoke Hooligan

Yesterday an innocent trip to Taco Bell ended 7 hours later at the shittiest little dive bar on Southside (Caddys) with me challenging one of the regulars to "a battle of wits" or to "meet me outside". I'm not even sure what a battle of wits is, but in my condition I would have probably lost.

Did this regular take offense to my horrific outfit (royal blue Duke basketball shirt, camo shorts)?

Was he intimidated when I channeled Mick Jagger as I rocked the Karaoke stage?

Maybe it was when he started hitting on that girl having no idea that she was there to see me, and I made it a point to start making out with her, right in the middle of their conversation?

Next thing I know I'm taking my flip flops off and I'm out in the parking lot trying to decide if I should open with a straight right hand or try to take him to the ground first with a nice form tackle. (He didn't accept my invitation to dance...fortunately, for both of us)

Yes I woke up and realized what an asshole I am.

10 comments:

Battery Park Blisters said...

How in the world did you end up all the way at Caddy's? yuck.

-"M"

Benedict Smith said...

yay for having to remove your flip-flops to fight :) awesome lol. and it's great when taco bell phaseshifts to a dive bar and drama.....

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a typical night out on southside...

iwishicouldcook said...

A Duke t-shirt?! Jack, how could you?

SeaFighter HSV said...

You sure are wacky, no doubt about it.

Anonymous said...

It's "hooligan" you fucking moron.

And I sang "Copperhead Road" last night at a party and I'm sure I did it better than your lame, bisexual, Mick Jagger strutting around like a gay peacock routine, faggot.

Die.

Anonymous said...

white trash?

Jack Goes Forth said...

I love it when one of my posts pisses someone off. :)

And yes, I'm a Duke fan. In fact, JJ Redick is tied with Christian Laettner for my all time favorite Dukies... Yeah, I said it.

AS said...

Wow, what horse ruptured Anonymous' colon last night?

Zosimus the Heathen said...

Re the second anonymous comment, I'd hate to think what the comments you delete say! (No, actually, I'm really quite curious now.)