Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Jack Gets Hit On, Confusion Ensues

I'm slinging drinks tonight and it's semi-busy. There is a very attractive, tallish, red-headed girl directly in front of my area of the bar. She's got a smoking body and a huge tat on her upper back that screams, "I'm a freak, although I'm still somewhat of a nice girl." How a huge upper back tattoo can say all that, I can't really explain. Nevertheless, shes all over me. Eyes locked in, smiles, stares, hand touches when I come in close to get her drink order. Trust me when I say, it was on son. Heres the rub though:

She was with an older man. He had to be at least 20 years older than her, and she was probably in her later twenties. They didn't seem to be together but they seemed quite friendly, dancing, hugging, that sort of thing. I didn't think much of it because she blatently asked for my number and gave me hers right in front of him. After that I just figured, whatever. But then as they were walking out they gave each other a big ol kiss on the mouth. It didn't seem like a "just friends" kiss either. So here are the situations that I may or may not be facing. My response to each situation is in italics.

1. They are just friends. They were drunk and it was a friend kiss. Cool, no problems here. I'll continue with the "bedding" process.

2. The guy is her pimp and is used to her acting like a drunken ho. Well this would explain his age and non-chalant attitude. But why pimp her out to a poor bartender? I think in the pimpin field the object is to get top dollar for your higher class hookers and she would have definately been in the upper echelon of this dudes ho rotation. I'm no pimp so maybe one of my readers can enlighten me on this one.

3. They're lovers and he gets his kicks watching his woman with other, younger men. This makes a lot of sense and it doesn't neccessarily deter me from the situation. Now if that's not blog honesty, then what is?

4. She's just a freak nasty slut who "does wha she wonts!" Unfortunately this is probably the case. Again, it doesn't deter me all that much. She was hot and I have thing for taller, model type figures, regardless of their proclivity for sleeping around.

In conclusion, I may or may not go after this girl. Getting a number while I'm bartending is hardly some strange experience. I just thought I would share this one with you because it had me a bit puzzled. For the naysayers, the people who will say run from this skank ho, my rebuttal is as follows: I'm pretty sure they invented condoms for situations just like this one.

UPDATE: Over text the tall redhead told me that the old man and she are just "old friends who hadn't hung out for a long time." Does this answer any of my questions? No, not really. Girls lie more than most guys will ever want to believe.


Bookstore Piet said...

Double bag it! - just in case.

Benedict Smith said...

she's prob an escort who would consider fucking you pro bono. it happens.

Anna said...

Maybe he likes to watch.

SeaFighter HSV said...

"Jack Gets Hit On, Confusion Ensues"

Could you rip off Tucker Max any more blatantly?

Brie said...

He might just be a sugar daddy date.

Did she pay her own tab?

If not, it's likely she was arm candy for the night. It's not that uncommon, and it would explain why she had no issues flirting with you in front of the man she was out with.

Randolph J. said...


If Jack is ripping off tucker max, then Im definitely ripping off the onion.

TM and the Onion aren't necessarily original ideas. Both great, sure. But they were copied prior to their incarnations and afterward as well. Jack and myself just enjoy using our far more superior writing skills than those two little "web sites," as they were, and bringing those concepts down to a local level.

Jack Goes Forth said...

Yeah I probably could rip him off more. But slightly mimicking the TITLE to ONE of his stories isn't exactly plagurism.

Jack Goes Forth said...

Oh and Brie, she paid for some drinks and he paid for a few. Honestly, I don't care who or what he is... she was hot and that's all I need to know.

Besides, I'm still waiting for you to grace one of my bars with your presence. Just don't come dressed as a alien.

SeaFighter HSV said...

Sic on "plagurism".

HEK said...

H'mm. Back tats are not my thing, but I'm old and married. It's a generational thing I'm just confused by. Why, for example, should a red head mar all that acreage of alabaster and/or freckles like a starry sky?

Anyway, if I wasn't: She's tall. She's a red head. Jack, go forth. You're young, you got your health. For right now.

One day, mark my words, you're going to find a librarian by day, exotic dancer by night. That's what men think they want, right?

By the way, I have no historical context for this comment. Which should please everybody. (weeps)

Benedict Smith said...

if she did any paying she's not an escort. *sigh*

Jack Goes Forth said...

HSV- Thanks for another dynamite addition to the comment section.

HEK- I do like me some freckles. I also like dirty girls rocking tats, so either one will do.

Umm, librarian by day and stripper by night? Yeah I guess that makes sense. A more modern term would be , "A lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets."

Benedict- Judging by your whole "MJ" storyline, I'm assuming you know a thing or two about escorts. haha. Sorry man, you had that coming. :)