Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Thoughts From 4 AM

-There are no guarantees in bartending. Some nights you get your ass handed to you and you walk out the door with hundreds of dollars, other nights you may just stand around with your thumb up your ass and end up walking with 80 dollars. The tip gods can be extremely generous at times, but other times (like tonight) they can act a bit fickle. Not having a set pay check can make life very interesting sometimes.

- Hooters get a bad rap for having trashy girls and shitty food, but I feel that both of these are completely unjustified and just plain wrong. I've found the girls and food at my local Hooters to be exemplary and in some cases, down right sexy. Hooters has found in JackGoesForth, a new, loyal patron, and someone who will gladly take advantage of his ability to prey on sexy, underachieving, orange short shorts wearing waitstaff.

- I'm tired and I think I still have cleaning fluid on my hands from the bar...which is now in both of my eyes. Fuck.

-I finally stumbled across this Tucker Max guy ( I can write some nasty stuff (especially with some of my recent book writings), but my shit compared to his makes me look like Tucker Max Lite. This guy is a fucking animal with absolutely no shame. I found myself howling in the middle of Barnes and Noble as I read some of his stories.

-Alexis Texas. Blonde, trashy looking, big booty, freak in the sheets. You Porn her and share my excitement. She's a nice collage of my ex-girlfriends.

- Just when I think I know how to handle women and get exactly what I want in the female/male relationship, I get tossed a fucking curve ball. I won't explain this one, but I will say this: I still have A LOT to learn.

-I'm such a contradicting trainwreck. One minute I'm discussing the virtues of some porn star and the next minute I'm bitching because I'm beat up and having women troubles. I'll try to stick to Hooter's girls and trashy porn stars (the two are the same I think) from now on.


Brie said...

I am a vegetarian and I still enjoyed my meal at Hooters. ;) I'm right with you on that.


Branch said...

Thoughts at 12:17 pm

1. Fuck Hooters


Anonymous said...

Comments at 1241 on Thursday:

1)Hooters girls are what they are. (yes the irony of using an office buzz-phrase to analogize hooters girls is not lost on me). They serve a great purpose in society if you accept them and their role. Kind of akin to hookers, who I believe are vital and necessary as well. Its all about supply and demand. And Hooters wings are fantastic. Now I'm really wishing there was a Hooters near here.
2) How in the hell are you just finding out about Tucker Max? Welcome to 2005. He needs to update his stuff with new stories though.
3) YouPorn you say? I've been a frequenter solicitor of RedTube, but will give YouPorn a try. Just like Hookers and Hooters girls, the world needs sluts and the world needs porn stars also. God bless em all.


Jack Goes Forth said...

JM- Hooters Southside Saturday, 1 PM. We're gonna paint saturday afternoon and possibly nighttime, blood red. Bring your A game, or whatever grade your game is at these days? C+?

Anonymous said...

Normally I would be all over this, but I will be in the CLT running my D+ game on unsuspecting girls there. Be gentle on the Hooters girls for me. Next time, next time.


Benedict Smith said...

Tucker Max is always worth a reread for a good laugh....