Thursday, June 19, 2008
The Ric Young/ Juan Conde Incident
(The people involved in this post may only interest my Richmond readers, although the drunkeness involved will pretty much be a universal interest. Also this post isn't very PC, so just squash the urge to point that out to me. )
Last Friday I had my first night off in months. The plan was to start drinking at 3 Monkeys and then... Wait, that was the plan. So I met some friends (a mixture of guys and girls) and we got to drankin. I started off with a Ketel One Martini and when I start off with a big bowl of vodka, craziness will generally ensue.
We left 3 Monkeys around 6 PM and decided to have dinner at Metro Grill. As we walked down Robinson, being loud and obnoxious, we spotted who appeared to be local newscaster and anchor for channel 8, the man, the myth, the legend--Juan Conde. In our drunken state we began shouting his name and making yelping noises (Seinfeld- Joe Dimag Episode) to see if it was really him. He turned around and it was actually local newcaster and fill in for channel 6-- Ric Young. Okay, okay so Ric Young is black and Juan Conde is... umm. Really tan? Spanish? Asian? I still don't know what he is (Calm down, it was an honest mistake) . Ric Young scowls at us and we keep walking and of course laughing our fucking heads off.
We tuck into our table at Metro and think nothing of this. It wasn't over yet though.
So in walks Ric Young and his brother (his real brother, not his "brotha"...nevermind) and they end up sitting a few tables behind us. Now admittedly, at the beginning of the meal we were not being responsible adults and we were being a little rude. My two buddies, who are 30 I might add, kept saying "Juan Motherfucking Conde" in our conversation and they were saying it with some volume. We weren't yelling anything and we didn't think it was that loud, but I guess it was. Next thing you know, Ric Youngs' brother is standing over our table with his arms crossed like Mr.Clean, just staring us down. Ric Young and his brother are two huge dudes, so we politely shut the hell up, and then the rest of the meal Ric Young and my table kept exchanging strange glances.
Here's the kicker though, we befriended our waitress who also happened to be Ric Youngs' waitress. After they left, the waitress came up and told us what a complete asshole Ric Young was to her and how local celebrity Ric Young only left 4 dollars on a 50 dollar tab. Now I understand he was probably annoyed with us, but don't shaft this sweet little waitress you big shot. And another thing, get the fuck over yourself, you should be happy people recognize you and if you can't handle some drunken kids then stop being a "TV personality".
Also, and you knew this was coming, 4 dollars on a 50 dollar tab???? I really hate to say this again because I'm not even remotely racist, but way to go Ric Young-- Maintaining stereotypes one tip at a time. Seriously though, don't misconstrue this as hate, I have many African American friends and I don't want to be put in the same boat as this new Jocelyn Balls character.
Anyways, I'll be tuning in to my boy, Juan "Motherfucking" Conde from now on.