Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Morva Goes All "Jerry Maguire" On Us

I woke up this morning and was really motivated to get out of bed before 10 AM (I almost did it too). So I get up and pour myself some OJ and commence with pulling the newspaper out of its little yellow bag and what do I come to see?

A picture of convicted killer and former Richmond resident William Morva, his hair and beard making Ted Kaczynski look like a male model, and his face a twisted mask of anger as he shouts his last words to the courtroom.

So if you haven't heard, William Morva escaped a Montogomery County Prison in 06', killing two men along the way and yesterday he was sentenced to death. In his final rant to the courtroom after the sentencing he apparently announced that his new name is "Nemo", declared his innocence and then predicted society being violently overthrown by people like him in the future. I should also mention that he announced that he was dropping his slave name in order to be called Nemo. Umm, Will, you're white man. So I'm not sure if you can call it your "slave name", you know, because... well nevermind.

Now I have no issue with the death sentence or his crazy rants in the courtroom, If anything I applaud him for going out in a blaze of twisted glory. If I knew death was staring me in the face (although due to VA's complicated appeals system he won't fry for many many years, if ever), I would probably pull a Jerry Maguire speech too. I guess his rants just left me a bit baffled. I mean you really want to be called "Nemo"? The lovable kids underwater franchise star? Why not something more tough? Max Power for instance? T-Bone? Ice-Pick? I mean, really, anyone can think of a better moniker than "Nemo".

His speech left me wanting, but that picture splashed across the front of the Richmond Times Dispatch? Well I'll admit it, that shit sort of freaked me out. Check it out here: MorvaScaresMe.


Bookstore Piet said...

Last words can be great - although I am sure this guy will say at least one or two things between now and his actual expiration. Quick, sum up you life in one or two sentences!

My uncle was told if he had another drink he would die. Stayed sober for 7 years then left one morning for a doctor appointment and showed up at the office drunk. Into the hospital and into a coma. The family gathered so we could all be there for the 'plug pulling.' Once there they shut off the machines and pulled out the breathing tube. Amazingly he woke up. Looking around he said - 'Jesus Christ, this must be costing a fortune.' Fell back on his pillow and died.

It was really tough to quit giggling.

Jack Goes Forth said...

Those are some funny last words. I bet everytime someone spoke about him there after, that story was always told and people always laughed their faces off.

Not a bad way to be remembered...

Brie said...

This actually makes me really sad. I knew Will when I was in high school.

Zosimus the Heathen said...

Interesting post. I always find it weird when I hear of people being sentenced to death in your part of the world, as we haven't had the death penalty here in Oz since the '60s or '70s (I don't remember which; come to think of it, I think the last state here to abolish it did so in the early '80s). How's this guy likely to die (given that, from what I've heard, different states have different methods of execution)? For as long as I can remember, I've been against capital punishment, although that's just my opinion, based in large part, I'll admit, on emotion and general moral squeamishness. I've heard some people claim, though, that it's actually more humane to execute someone than lock them up for the rest of their life. I suppose I can see their point.

As you said, this guy's courtroom rant was, for all its absurdity, sort of inspiring; it'll be interesting, though, to see how he is when he actually goes to his death. Perversely enough, one of the ballsiest condemned criminals I ever heard of was the Nazi war criminal, Adolf Eichmann, who apparently went to his execution (in an Israeli prison in 1962) very calm and not at all repentant. Also quite gutsy was the Nazi "party philosopher" Alfred Rosenberg, who was executed at Nuremberg in 1946, and apparently told the prison chaplains to bugger off even as he was being led to the gallows. (Please don't think I'm a Nazi sympathizer from any of this - I just believe in giving credit for facing death bravely where it's due.)

As for good last words, the opening line of a heavy metal song I've heard (Necrophobic's "Darkside") springs to mind: "Satan take my soul!" Not sure I'd have the balls to utter it myself, though!

Zosimus the Heathen said...

And hey, wasn't T-Bone (one of the names you suggested this Fruit Loop should've called himself) that crazy guy from the movie "Colors" who was shown dancing around in his underpants with a giant stuffed rabbit on his shoulders?

Jack Goes Forth said...

I pulled "T-Bone" from a Seinfeld episode and "Max Power" from a Simpsons episode. As you can see, my tastes in sitcoms are pretty narrow.

Yeah, I honestly could care less about William Morva, I just thought his rant was funny. I feel like I see this type of thing so often that the actually brutality of his actions cease to faze me anymore.

Zosimus the Heathen said...

^Puts me in mind of some of the rants of Charles Manson I've heard (as samples on certain hip-hop CDs). That guy's a complete fruitcake as well; why so many people seem to look up to him is beyond me.