Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I'm Going Out


It's 2 PM right now and I'm going out tonight. I'm not going to start drinking at 4 PM and be hammered by 7. I'm not going to make a preplan of bars I intend to go to before I go out. I'm not going to iron a button down shirt and pants to wear. I may not even shower (and I'm about to hit the gym.)

I will not have a few go-to anecdotes for hitting on women. I will not be "doing my hair" (it already looks like it got bukkaked in from months of non-washing and plenty of "product" used). I won't worry about what friends are up to or why people can't come out.

I will go someplace dark. Someplace with booze, cigarette smoke and women. I won't press and try to hit on tons of women, because they will come naturally. I know this because I'm a natural.

I won't even consider texting ex's or ex-flings or any of the girls I always backslide with.

I will meet someone new, although it's doubtful I'll ever want to hang out with them again either. I'll make out with them in some brick alley next to a bar. I'll be forceful but they will resist and then insist that we go on a date and that they aren't that type of girl and although they just met me, they really like me and blah blah blah. I'll keep trying, and finally, weary of playing a nice guy, I'll walk away with a number.

Throw in the occasional date, the occasional girl that consents to sex and the frequent heavy drinking with friends; and you have the perfect representation of my last 6 months of going out. (Or more accurately, the last 6 years of going out.)

For other people who like things that go bump in the night... I'll be somewhere in the Slip, or the Bottom, or maybe the Fan. See ya there.

3 comments:

Benedict Smith said...

that's literally the last six of my life as well. that and hiding it from a girlfriend. damn....the best nights are the nights solo and drinking heavy and knowing the inevitable always occurs and thus not even thinking about it.

Jack Goes Forth said...

I couldn't agree more. When I just get the fuck out of my head and let things happen, instead of over-analyzing, great nights (and days) will inevitably occur.

Like yourself, I live for solo adventures. It's rare to find people who can brave the night and the bars by themselves.

Anonymous said...

I like things that go bump in the night

like my pee pee

you get it?