Thursday, June 26, 2008

Funny Bar Exchange Of The Night

My buddy and I were holding an Atlantic City pre-planning party at a bar last night (although I don't recall any "planning" actually happening) and we started chatting up these two girls. Here's what was said between my girl (cute, blonde, short hair, nothing to write home about) and myself at one point in the evening:

Me (As I'm about to leave the bar around 10 PM): Well listen, I need to head out and get some rest. Do you want to come have a drink at my place?

Her: Umm, I just met you like, 10 minutes ago. I'm not just going to go home with you just like that. We can go on a date after you get back from Atlantic City next week, if you want.

Me (with a perplexed look on my face): Oh, well I mean my rolodex is pretty full with dates for the next few months and I was actually out searching for new booty calls this evening. You do have potential in that area. (this said with an unblinking straight face, no smirking or indications that I'm even remotely kidding.)

Her: You're such an asshole. I will never be your booty call...

10 Minutes later, this is what I text her when I get home: Last chance for booty call? Any takers?

She texts back: I'll give it further consideration next week :) Have fun in AC and call me when you return.

Is it really this easy? I mean seriously? The more of a cad I am to girls, the more successful I tend to be. This shouldn't be news to any guy, but stop being so nice. Girls will say the opposite and that they only want nice guys, but don't listen to them.


Anonymous said...

The nice/mean dichotomy does not exist. A better black/white equation would be to say, you are either confident or self-conscious. The person who is being pursued typically has a degree of doubt about themselves and so they try to attach themselves to someone who is very confident. Being confident is not being full of yourself or being an asshole. Jack is a jerk, but he tempers that with bits of disarming up-front honesty, which makes his ladies think they've got a unique find. Are they wrong? Let's debate this while Jack is away for the weekend.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I rhetorically ask my friends who cat around "Isn't one woman enough trouble"?

Anonymous said...

it's one thing to be confident... another to be a total dick. You have to figure out who you are and why women respond to you the way they do... most likely these girls don't really think much of themselves. as fun as they may seen right now, how long can you really sustain it? just something to think about and hopefuly discuss... peace

Anonymous said...

Hypothesis: True equality does not exist in romance and opposites attract. Discuss.

Pick one: Jack is a sadist or an aggressive advocate of free love? What say you?

Brie said...

Whatever, dude. You got the girl. Good for you. ;)

N said...

Yeah I mean its real easy to pick up chicks, and its hella easy for chicks to pick up guys as well. Not any real breaking news there bud, we all know the game.

The thing you haven't learned yet, but you will in a couple more years, is how to pick up the "right" girl. That girl isn't gonna be so easy and probably doesn't even know you exist, so you will actually have to work for that one. Til then, flings it is.

Anonymous said...

i don't think you are looking for the "right girl" or even give a shit right gotta be the biggest narcissist i've never met....but i do think you want people to think you are witty, smart and capable regarding your writing/work.

this shock value push-the-limits dick thing you got going is a fine line to walk if you eventually want to be taken seriously for other things you actually care about.

hell, you are 24...i think you got one more year in you before people start thinking this shit is pathetic. trust me, it will be pathetic one day...good luck, i have no doubt when you grow up you'll get the right girl and the book deal.

Anonymous said...

Classic. "You are such an asshole that I will consider it next week".

I wonder how many diseases she has. Bar girls are easy.

Anonymous said...

And now science stands behind you!

Jack Goes Forth said...

so many comments, so little to respond with...

How you guys can tell this much about me from a few blog posts is beyond me, but I appreciate you taking the time to post something.

Sadist? Total jerk? Aggressive advocate of free love?

I think you're all overthinking it. There's no real definition for having fun and wringing every drop out of life. I just do shit and I try to stay happy... Or maybe I'm some evil genius... yeah... right.

Oh and someone said I may one more year of this lifestyle? Haha. Umm, listen, get out of Richmond, go to NYC, go to Europe, this is an accepted lifestyle for people well into their 30's and 40's. Unfortunately the prevailing mindset in Richmond is completely backwards and stuck in some past era.

Nevertheless, thanks all for the comments (even if they're anonymous). I'll do my best to continue doing what I want and you guys do your best to keep anonymously calling me pathetic over a blog (it motivates me to keep being awesome). ;)

Anonymous said...

you keep tellin' yourself that at 30 while the hot 24 year old bartender steals your girl right in front of you....and you aren't pathetic...yet...i think you're (or will be) too smart for that even if you won't admit it now.

it's just SO fun to mess with you...especially long have you been blogging again?

Jack Goes Forth said...

I don't neccessarily think I'll be chasing 21 year old chicks when I'm older.... I mean, I will be sometimes, but by then I'll be able to use status,money and experienced game over looks and energy.

You are right about one thing, I am too smart. (hearing that never gets old.)