Monday, June 23, 2008

Even Whores Get Lonely

Had a few glasses of wine tonight at a pleasant dinner with my Mom and then I tacked on a few Tecates at the local pub with my buddy. I got a nice buzz on and still managed to make it home by 9 PM. I got home and ended up passing out, laptop on my lap, sitting up on the couch. I woke up at midnight feeling pretty good and decided to take my laptop to bed and listen to music before I went back to sleep. I listened to music for two hours and seeing as I was slightly tipsy and listening to slow jams, I got to thinking about stuff that I usually don't have the time or energy to think about and when I think, I tend to want to blog.

I heard from someone tonight that a recent fling I was involved with had gotten back with her ex (this being the reason she stopped talking to me). I didn't really care about that particular incident, but it got me wondering about my other flings and my other exes. In the past two years I've had 6 solid, one to four month "things", all of which were ended by my hand. Why did I end these? I couldn't even tell you now and there probably wasn't even a reason to begin with. What was wrong with these girls? Nothing. They were all smart, all beautiful, and all of them challenged me and made me happy in one way or another.

I laid in bed and thought about a few of these girls and even went as far to imagine them back by side, in the sheets with me. I only remembered the awesome times, the road trips, the drinking bouts, the day dates.

Why can't I settle? Is it the thrill of sex with someone new? I doubt it. I just get bored, I get antsy, I go out to a bar for the umpteenth time with the same girl and my eyes wander and I just don't get the same thrill that I got when I first started hanging out with her. I get annoyed very easily.

Maybe it's the youth, maybe I just need to find the right girl... whatever. I like being single. I like being unrestrained. It fits me and aside from the occasional "fling", I don't see this changing for a long time.

Besides, high school just got out for the summer. If not for me, who would be there to send off all of the 18 year olds to school?????? I would say I'm kidding, but, well... no comment.

"The lonely one offers his hand too quickly to whomever he encounters." -Nietzsche


Brie said...

Sounds like Alfie . ;)

Jack Goes Forth said...

I like the movie so I'll take that as a compliment, whether it was intended to be or not.

Brie said...

Hey, I relate to Alfie too. ;) Totally a compliment.

Benedict Smith said...

yeah. alfie's the best.

I HATE bringing a girl to the bar. Gone are the feelings of promise, potential and the unknown....focus on the positive, at least you're confident enough to stay single most of the time, beats being the alternative (uber dependent on being in a relationship).