I'm sitting here at 2:20 Pm on Monday, calmly watching the US Open playoff before I go to meet "the curious female" from last night at Belle Isle, when the broadcast goes black. What the fuck?
Across the screen runs the message: Child Abduction Emergency. Issued for the counties of: State of Virginia.
This is all it says and this runs for 5-6 minutes, making me miss two pivotal putts on the 11th green.
Ummm, what does this mean? Does this mean I should go out and invite some of the neighborhood kids into my place and after restraining them with duct tape, put them in the hidden closet beneath the stairs to ensure that they won't be abducted? Is this what NBC wants? Is there a child abductor on the loose somewhere in the State of Virginia that I should be keeping an eye out for? That doesn't even make sense to me. I'm confused. I need more details before I go on a kidnapping spree.
As I'm looking for my duct tape and a blunt object, the golf broadcast resumes, and I forget about the safety of the neighborhood kids for the moment.
Don't let anyone tell you that not being in a cubicle all day is some stress free adventure. It's really tough man.