Sunday, June 15, 2008

Bartender Thoughts From 3 AM

-While cleaning the bar tonight (by myself) I tried a shot of 13 of the 25 or so beers we have on tap. Some were good, some sucked. I really liked Sam Adam's "Boston" Ale (not the same as Sam Adam's Lager). My final analysis: I'll stick to Ketel One with the occasional Guinness thrown in.

-A curious female came by to visit me tonight and by "curious", I mean mind-numbingly hot. I have a luncheon planned with this female to discuss current events, Obama, the U.S. Open, etc... Or we may just not talk and get drunk instead. I'll play that one by ear.

-I tend to get other bartending gigs offered here and there. I ponder some of the offers because some of these jobs are pretty big money gigs. It comes down to loyalty v. money basically. For the time being that's really all I can say about that.

-Two women were at a table tonight and they kept ordering some different exotic/pain in the ass drinks every order (Mai Tai's, Mojito's, Bahama Mamas). I like making drinks, but when I'm the only bartender with a full bar in addition to making these drinks for the service bar, it kind of sucks. I made the drinks without complaint because it's my job and I like the server I was making them for. What REALLY pissed me off is that these two women had a 55 dollar tab and left a 0 dollar tip. The server told me this and lucky for them they were already gone. I'm not above calling out people for completely shafting others on tips. sidenote: I don't like stereotypes but these women were African American. I get shafted by every race, but it is predominately black people. I'm not racist, and I also routinely get awesome tips from my African American patrons, but lets just put this out there: Black people tip like shit. On that note, so do Mexicans and so do white trash people. Thats just blog honesty my friends...

-I was working at a sports bar tonight and the entire bar erupted when Tiger Woods made that putt on 18. I have to admit, I got chills. A more clutch putt, there has not been... ever.

-I have a bar patron editing my first 60 pages of writing, in addition to whatever else I can crank out. He's smart and is some sort of grammar nerd. His motto: "Chicks dig the semi-colen." Seriously, he said this. Proclivity with women isn't really what I look for in an editor anyways. He does take drinks for writing help though. Now that's a deal I can get behind.

-It's now Monday morning. Here is what you should be focusing on this week:

1. Not killing self (This one's a biggie)
2. Sex with strangers (Easier said than done...even for me)
3. Maintaining your dignity (Look at yourself in the mirror... eww, wait, umm, actually this may be a bit much to ask for the week.)

Go get em champ!


Bookstore Piet said...

When waiting tables I hated generalizing based on race. Sadly, it happened way too often. Many black servers I worked with hated waiting on black customers because of a stereotype of bad tipping. I tried to refrain from judging ANY table until they gave me cause. Anyone making their own lemonade at the table was usually a good indicator about how the evening was going to go....

According to server friends of mine back home Scottie Pippen had a nickname while playing for Portland - No Tippin' Pippen.

Benedict Smith said...

I stick with the first two. Once I accepted my drive for scandalous women and heavy drinking, I abandoned the third one.

Jack Goes Forth said...

No tippin Pippen. That's some good stuff. He always did strike me as sort of an asshole.

Making Lemonade? At the table? Wow.

B- Yeah it can be tough to be absolutely shameless and still cling to any sort of dignity.

Bookstore Piet said...

Nothing like working in an upscale eatery and watching the table squeeze lemons and dump sweet & low into their water glasses... Kiss your tip goodbye...

matthew said...

When I delivered pizzas one desperate college summer, I found that poor folks, black or white, were far better tippers than the rich white folks.

The trailer park folks would often tip the cost of the pizza, while the more expensive the house was, the more likely the tip was to be 1-2 bucks.

Bookstore Piet said...

Pizza delivery is tough.

In RVA I live in a 'rough' neighborhood. When we can get a pizza delivered here it is a big deal and we tip accordingly. When I lived on Hilton Head, back in the day, the upper class of the island treated pizza delivery as no different than the post man. Sad, but true.