*In addition to being a so-so writer Jack Goes Forth is also an out of work pimp.
For someone who is unemployed and penniless I remain horribly optimistic. Even now, when things are looking bleak, I just have an overabundance of confidence. Maybe I'm to crazy to grasp my situation and my brain chemistry is somehow blocking out the negative thoughts. If thats the case then I guess I have the "good kind of crazy." I just don't see any reason to get down on myself. I have my youth and a sort of edge that I can't really explain...whatever it is though... well, I just know that it won't let me down... not in this lifetime.
I do go through brief moments of despair though. I'm ready for the sun to shine through a bit more.... its coming. I just gotta keep my head up.
I'm not sure what purpose this blog is serving me (currently its bringing me a lot of grief and criticism), but I'm not going to stop writing what I feel and think. I certainly don't plan on toning anything down either. The main point of contention is that a lot of people thought they knew me inside and out, only to have this blog show them a side of me they didn't know existed. The truth of the matter is I don't even know myself and I'm constantly re-evaluating what this all means. If I don't know who I am or what I want....How can anyone know me or what type of person I am??? They can't. I don't want to piss people off, but I didn't start this blog to make anyone happy either. This is a "me" blog.... Whether I have 200 readers a day, or 2... I can't change how I feel about stuff.
There are moments when I want something more real with a girl. These moments are fleeting, but they happen. I don't think this would effect my immediate future...but it gives me hope that maybe the Tin man Jack actually does have a heart. Okay I think I just threw up in my mouth a bit. I'm having a strange night...
I sat through the entire Oscar telecast. Maybe thats why I'm in such a weird mood. I feel gross about watching that much crap.
Its going to be a good week. I can feel it.
Adversity precedes growth.
You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.
Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.