Friday, January 25, 2008

Wanderlust

(Ed. Note: Serious post alert! You probably want to save this post for Monday morning when you'll be depressed anyways.)


I've had this feeling for at least 5-6 months and recently I've noticed that this feeling has been manifesting itself in everything I do, everything I think, everything I see. Its a gnawing feeling and I'm almost certain that its not going anywhere and infact will only continue to enslave my existence. This feeling...or the best word to describe this feeling is:


Wanderlust
a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about.


I find myself constantly day-dreaming, sleep-dreaming, conceptualizing, and wondering about the open road. I think about where will I go? What does this life really have in store for me? I feel trapped, chained and at the same time entranced by this plan; this blueprint. All I want is to move about. All day long I plot my escape...

If I work for this amount of time and pay off this debt then I can make it happen... or Heres my time table and heres my month by month plan to get out. I'm constantly thinking about figures and countries and adventure...

It really is absurd how much I think about travel and getting away. Away from what? I don't know. My friends and family are great, I'm back in a wonderful little city where I know a lot of people, jobs are starting to fall into place...my future isn't quite as hazy as it used to be.... But still I yearn to escape.

I understand that many people travel, for weeks, months, even years at a time. People even say, well once you travel for a few weeks you'll get the bug out of your system... "Everyone feels like this at some point." I can appreciate this, but I feel like I want to travel for the rest of my life. I don't feel any urge to ever stop or wait or even find a home to call my own.

This is youth right? Youth.... The time between childhood and maturity. Everyone gets their shot at youth and everyone gets a wicked case of wanderlust.

The thing that really frightens me... if everyone felt like this at some point, why are their so many disillusioned middle-agers? Why didn't they run when they had the chance? and what if I somehow don't get this chance?

I won't let that happen. I can't

5 comments:

dchero said...

Wanderlust. That sums it up right there, fantastic word. I think the strong desire to live in the moment is at the root of it. Like, living in the 15 minute window. This is genius, great post.

oldboydowd said...

why do you think i have lived in 4 states in the last 5 years?

Slightly Disorganized said...

I get this too, and think that I should move to Chicago or Dc, or Akron, Ohio, where at leasst I could afford to buy a house. But after realizing that I live in the best area of the country weatyherwise, I am usually cured of it. Until next week.

Anonymous said...

you should be one of those dudes who travels to crazy places and writes about it. I'm pretty sure they make money off their writing. Like that one Scottish guy who trekked across Afghanistan and wrote a book about it. That could be your calling - you make money to travel and travel to make money.

Em said...

Since I have yet to comment, I feel this is the perfect time. I share this wanderlust with you. After moving a few times in the past year and a half I know I am nowhere near done.