I've had this feeling for at least 5-6 months and recently I've noticed that this feeling has been manifesting itself in everything I do, everything I think, everything I see. Its a gnawing feeling and I'm almost certain that its not going anywhere and infact will only continue to enslave my existence. This feeling...or the best word to describe this feeling is:
a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about.
I find myself constantly day-dreaming, sleep-dreaming, conceptualizing, and wondering about the open road. I think about where will I go? What does this life really have in store for me? I feel trapped, chained and at the same time entranced by this plan; this blueprint. All I want is to move about. All day long I plot my escape...
If I work for this amount of time and pay off this debt then I can make it happen... or Heres my time table and heres my month by month plan to get out. I'm constantly thinking about figures and countries and adventure...
It really is absurd how much I think about travel and getting away. Away from what? I don't know. My friends and family are great, I'm back in a wonderful little city where I know a lot of people, jobs are starting to fall into place...my future isn't quite as hazy as it used to be.... But still I yearn to escape.
I understand that many people travel, for weeks, months, even years at a time. People even say, well once you travel for a few weeks you'll get the bug out of your system... "Everyone feels like this at some point." I can appreciate this, but I feel like I want to travel for the rest of my life. I don't feel any urge to ever stop or wait or even find a home to call my own.
This is youth right? Youth.... The time between childhood and maturity. Everyone gets their shot at youth and everyone gets a wicked case of wanderlust.
The thing that really frightens me... if everyone felt like this at some point, why are their so many disillusioned middle-agers? Why didn't they run when they had the chance? and what if I somehow don't get this chance?
I won't let that happen. I can't