Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Sticks and Stones

(Ed.Note: I received this letter yesterday. It was unsigned and had no return address. It could be from a number of people; a jilted lover, "a friend", an anonymous stranger, or possibly Helena Christensen (we had a thing). For the readers sake just assume its from someone who I've interacted with in the past. Cool? )
Ed.Note II: This "letter" is clearly fake and full of sarcasm. It was not intended to be a real letter from a real person. I felt like most people could've understood that, but I guess not...

Dear Scumbag (Jack),

I've been reading your blog and it reminds me of you in bed. A complete joke. I've never read such cocky, lamely sarcastic, self-pity bullshit before. You make me sad that I ever started talking to you that day, in that bar. I was so damn drunk and you come up with your little self-effacing personality and your college boy good looks. You're lucky I let you sleep with me that night, and the next, and four weeks later , after having not spoken to me for three and half weeks and having only asked to hang out again by text, at 4 AM.

Why don't you grow up? Get a job like everyone else. I'm tired of reading about you spending your days doing nothing as I sit in an office doing work that a retarded dolphin could do. My friends agree with me that you need to get your shit together and join the world or else...And my friends know a lot, so much so that they pretty much dictate how I live.

Thats right, get in line or you may have to wait until you're 70 to retire. Meanwhile with my work ethic, I'll retire at 65. Unfortunately all of these years of eating like Rosie O'Donnell and "working out" on the stairmaster for 20 minutes a week will have caught up to me, and theres a good chance I'll be near death or wishing I was dead at that point. But I won't be working. No sirree bob.

Don't you listen to your friends? Your parents? They know all the answers Jack! Live your life on other peoples terms you jackass or people may say disrespectful things about you. Words can hurt you know. If you'd start caring about what people said about you... Then you would be unhappy just like my fat ass (Oh I've gained a few pounds....Doesn't every girl when they hit 25?)

Oh and whats with the womanizing??? Find a nice girl and settle down! If you don't find a nice girl soon, they'll all be gone. Thats right, when you hit 30 and you're still single...Fuhgeddabboutit! You're done you geezer. No older man has ever remained single, responsibility-free and happy. Nope. You gotta get divorced at least once by 35 and give up half your shit or you're not livin brotha! Having to ask for permission to drink with longtime friends--->Thats how you should conduct your life. No more going for beers and pizza on a Tuesday. Nope. Tuesday is date night. You sit on the couch, watch American Idol and talk about each other's day. How was your day honey? Its soooooooo much fun, I swear.

And another thing, everyone, including you, should live their life and do their work with their funeral in mind. "What will people say about me when I'm gone?" Thats what you have to keep in mind. Regardless of the fact that when you die, you will have NO idea what people think, and "YOU" will not exist anymore. Stop doing stuff that makes people not like you. As long as people say nice words during your two week grieving period...Well asshole, thats what is important. You WIN if people like you after you die. Its true.

In conclusion. I hate you. If I see you out at a bar I may not even speak to you...well I might not speak with you. I'm not gonna let you just follow me home again and sleep with me! Not again...Unless you're particularily charming that night, like you usually are when I'm drunk...But you got a slim chance buddy...a slim chance.

PS. I'll be at Tiki Bob's on Friday at 6. I mean I don't want to see you, but I just thought you should know... Just incase you're in the neighborhood and want a couple drinks...or something.

With fleeting hatred,


* Contrary to popular belief Jack Goes Forth can still be hurt by sticks, stones and in this case, a beer bottle. Words still fail to hurt him though.

I'll save the story behind this photo for a time when I'm drunk-blogging. There will be blood.


Slightly Disorganized said...

I love when people "don't care" so much that they're driven to spend a half hour spewing their hatred all over you.

Just saying. My money's on jilted lover.

You must be good Jack for her to be so bitter about you taking away the cock. Because even after you tooled her for four weeks by not calling her, she still slept with you again. And still would now, otherwise why would she give you her location on Friday night.

Sounds like she likes to "slum it" with you.


Slightly Disorganized said...

I am also fully aware that whoever sent that letter will also read this comment.

And for the record, my blog does not allow anonymous comments for this exact reason.

Anonymous said...

Pretty sure you wrote that e-mail.

Jack Goes Forth said...


Im really hoping you picked up on the sarcasm and um, "fakeness" of that letter. You seem smart so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

I thought about going sans anonymous on here too....but thats lame. If I'm gonna dish it out, I gotta be able to take it back.

Just saying...


Slightly Disorganized said...

hahaha, that's even funnier! Is this what the women you fuck would have to say, if they could actually write you a letter?? Hmm. Or are you just trolling your own blog to create controversy? :) Either way, fucking hilarious.

i agree, if you dish it you should take it, but i think that anonymous is for pussies. If you have something to say, use your name (or blog ID), otherwise I have no reason to pay attention.

Anonymous said...

Boy, you are sensitive. A whole blog entry dedicated to trying to put on a brave face and deflect the criticism posted almost immediately after my commentary....

Toughen up, Junior. Bloggin's a tough business. You'll need thicker skin than that if you hope to survive more than a couple of months ‘round these parts.

And do try to learn the difference between "you're" and "your". It's embarrassing when people supposedly as intelligent as you make such common mistakes.

Actually, weren’t you the one spouting off when you first arrived on the scene about how giant your IQ was and that we should be prepared for you to throw down some "knowledge" on the rest of us poor uneducated masses?

Anxiously waiting...

Your Anonymous Hater

P.S. Disorganized - you're (note correct usage) a complete idiot if you thought for a second that Jack's blog entry today was legitimate.

How fucking dumb are you?

You two should just get it over, have sex, and produce your inevitable troglodyte children to further befoul my world.


Virgle Kent said...

oh God, *rolling eyes now*,

If I had a dime for every time some dumb bia wrote some lame "I hate you and I wanted you to know" jib jab.

Anon 5:42

You talked a lot of shit but so far you're just an anonymous posting a comment on a blog you think sucks.... so where does that leave you? I mean you're the one that's commenting

Jack Goes Forth said...


If you want to believe that I wrote an entire post dedicated to deflecting one comment that was left anonymously...you're sadly mistaken. No, I have plenty of detractors and friends who tell me straight to my face how much my blog sucks and/or my life sucks. They don't need to hide behind the internet to criticize people.

Also I never spouted off about a high IQ. If one thing is clear...I don't lie on this blog about myself or anything else.

I'm going to leave this on the positive tip though. Thanks for the feedback and keep it coming.


Slightly Disorganized said...


I am not fucking dumb, perhaps just too trusting that Jack actually received a note from a hater. Learning that he justs like to stir the shit is illuminating for sure.

And honestly, just because I comment on his blog does not mean in any way, shape, or form that I would be interested in fucking him. In fact, I have even made up my mind if I like him or not. I'm leaning towards no currently, but then I read comments from people like you ( who are too chicken shit to use their own name, or link their own blog if they have one) and Jack starts to look like a good deal.

And I never misuse you're and your, having passed the third grade.

Thanks for playing though.

Philip K. Dick said...

Roosh and Roissy are the only blogs worth reading in this circle.

This guy lost me with this email post, which he clearly wrote himself.

Anonymous said...

JGF, been away from your blog for awhile and I come back and I'm extremely disappointed. You're interviewing for jobs? You posted an obviously fake email/letter to express obvious ideas/sentiments that you have previously expressed?
I think you are on the slippery slope back into the real world. You use the excuse that you have bills to pay and I'm sure you do. But this type of thinking is going to be what leads you back into another prison. Next thing you know, you'll have a real job, and while you want to save to travel etc., you will decide you really want cable TV b/c you can afford it. Next, you'll think I make alot of money, I can afford a new car, I'll get one to take my mind off the fact I hate my job and it will be a distraction while I'm waiting to escape. Next thing you know, a couple of your single friends call and say "lets go to Rio, I hear Canivale is off the hook", you reply naturally that you can't b/c you have a big presentation on Monday, and you really need to keep your job b/c you're past due on a couple of bills and your credit card balances are enormous.
You may think now that "it won't happen to you" or "you can keep it real" while maintaining a real job to pay the bills. Not true. Its all or nothing. The only difference between you and a cube jockey like me is that I have accepted my sentence. Lying to yourself won't work.
There will always be obstacles. Always excuses. You had so much potential to change your life and perhaps change the thinking of a person or two outside yourself. But you gave up. I obviously can't fault you for it, I gave up long ago, its the easy way out. Its kinda like the Matrix I choose to take the red (or blue? can't remember) and return to my fake world of hapiness with my blinders on. Its comfortable, people smile at me, they think I'm successful. But its all a facade and I thought you might be on the verge of discovering this and opting out, but you disappointed me. Its a final, you're not my hero.

As for the fake email, clearly by the comments it did more harm than good. It was just a poor medium to express your message. You need to remember that how you convey your message is just as important as what you say. But, I can see you are experimenting with your writing and trying to find a method that works for you. Thats not all bad, but you can do better.

Tighten up JGF.


Jack Goes Forth said...

A/N, Cube Jockey,

Hmmmm. Where to begin?

First lets talk about the positives. I am experimenting with how I handle this blog. My writing has gone from non-existant a month ago, to everyday currently, so there is some flux as to my style and format. I'm starting to see what works and what may not work, although I suspect that this may take a lot longer than a few months or even a few years. That being said, I appreciate the feedback on my "letter" post. Keep reading and I'm sure you will see all sorts of experimentation.

Okay, the real issue at hand. I know you and I (whomever you may be) have touched briefly on this topic of doing something different and taking the red pill, etc...

I agree. I don't want to be the one draped in comfort, upgrading my cable, stressed about a big presentation on monday. I don't want it at all. I'm just confused as how to break free. My current plan involves getting out of debt and taking a Roosh-like sojourn. But will this happen once I'm flush again and not worried about money??? God I hope so.

All I do is dream about travel and adventure, and I don't think I need any savings to make it happen. The shitty part is, I can't just uproot and leave my school loans, bills, creditors, car payment to my Mom. I buried myself and as a man its only on me to get out of the hole. Had I foreseen when I was 20, what the next few years would have held, maybe I would've been smarter.

I make it sound like I'm on the verge of bankrupcty and disaster. This is not the case, but I do need some type of income for the time being.

For now this blog is merely a place for my dreams and where I see my life heading. One day this blog will be reality though. Don't lose faith my man (or woman).

The more I write on how I feel, the deeper these feelings manifest themselves and the more resolute I become. Rome wasn't built in a day (yes I compared myself to Rome).

Jack Goes Forth said...


PS. You say "you gave up long ago"? Where does it say youth or time has to stop someone from starting anew or trying something different?

Thats not a criticism mind you...just a query.

dchero said...

Roosh and Roissy are the only blogs worth reading in this circle.

This guy lost me with this email post, which he clearly wrote himself.

Man, I wish I had haters. Too bad my blog sucks too much ass. Nice job, JGF.

This blog theme you have going about avoiding the normal life relates to a book given to me recently. 'The Death of Ivan Illich' is a short read, it's about a guy who plays the status game his whole life before realizing the error of his ways. The fact Tolstoy wrote it in 1886 makes it interesting because it still rings true. Might be worth checking out.

James said...

WAY too much jibber jabber on this weak topic.