Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The State Of Jack Address

* Me. On a Tueday. At 2 PM.

Well since starting this blog (only two weeks ago!) my life has taken a few turns. My decision two weeks ago to start LIVING life and not just surviving life is still very much my go-to guy. The plan was to bartend/serve/ and play guitar hero on the street corner to make ends meet for awhile. While romantic and noble, this plan quite frankly sucked my ass. Believe it or not, unless you have a really money bartending gig... paying a rent and bills equivalent to a 60K salary becomes a lot tougher when that bi-weekly paycheck isn't coming in. I know that I dug myself into this hole by spending above my means, and it doesn't make me a happy boy... Unfortunately I wasn't able to find a gig quickly enough and I decided to make a few life changes.

The big change is that I moved back to Richmond Virginia. Thats right, the capital of the confederacy, the river city, hot daisy duke redneck chicks, higher obesity rates, less public transportation, more drinking and driving, etc.......

Currently I'm living out of my car and crashing at my best buddy's place. I'm fortunate to have good friends and family here and quite honestly, I had missed our usual drunken shenanigans (which were on full display this past weekend.) The most fun I've had thus far in life, even above drugs and sex, involves drinking/and hanging tough with my Richmond friends.

I'll miss DC and I'll miss the friends I made there, but I decided to clean up the mess I call life and the only way to start was to go back home. I'm still looking for a cool bartending gig, but as much as I hate to say it, I've begun interviews for some medical/pharma/construction sales jobs. While I'm becoming a slacker-extrordinaire, I do have some marketable skills and a boatload of charm which can easily translate into a job.

I STILL don't want back in the 9 to 5, in-office, corporate suck-bag that was my life. But I'm starting to think that I'm going to have to go back to outside sales or some sort of real job. Not being a hobo/ ultimate slacker is totally going against everything this blog stands for!! I know I know I know... But unless a supe- rich benefactor suddenly appears, I may not have a choice. I still want to travel, drink, fuck, and be merry everyday, all-day... But bills and student loans have to be taken care off. While I'll probably score a high paying outside sales job soon, I want you to know, I will not change. I'm against the normal progression of life...I'm against marriage...I'm against sex with condoms...(wait...huh?) I'm pro-awesomeness and anti-settlingdownness.... I will hopefully find a way out.... But at 24, I need some time.

Fellow blogger http://www.rooshv.com/ was able to save money through anti-materialism and being smart. This has allowed him to currently be exploring South America and molding his world with a spackel of excitement (minus the bats). Before I started to become enlightened, I had very poor spending habits...I regret it now, but I also know what I have to do to regain control....

Some Random Thoughts:

  • I've realized a few things about women since I've moved back from DC. There are indeed more women in DC than in Richmond, but since hitting the bars here for the past 5-6 nights, I've also come to the conclusion that Richmond has hotter girls than DC. Ok, maybe not the international, exotic type of girls, but in terms of hot white girl poon, Richmond wins. Southern chicks rule.

  • Also since I had been working so hard in DC to refine my game and crank it up to 11, with much success I might add....I've noticed that its so much easier in Richmond now. Maybe its because DC girls get hit on more due to the urban sprawl and Richmond girls just aren't used to it... Maybe its because being umemployed has taught me to forget my pride and just do whatever the hell I feel like.... I'm not sure, but all of sudden its like fishing with dynamite out there. Of course I've always felt like this, but apparently the dynamite has gotten much more powerful.

  • Everyone is getting engaged!!!! I'm not going to completely bash it(this post) but you know how I feel about it. Congrats to my friends. I'm happy for you....but more happy for me because I intend on using your weddings as springboards to drunkenness and scoring with desperate women. Infact I'm going to devote an entire running diary to a "fake" wedding in the near future, so read it and pretend its actually your wedding (then consider de-inviting me...ha).

  • My new roommate and I realized how amazingly cool and tough we were last night. I mean, we already knew it, but its always nice to get some feedback. FYI, we will continue to out-drink, out-party, out-sexify and generally be much more awesome than everyone else. If you want to join us, we start our Saturdays at noon, at Hooters, with the pedal to the metal. I'm usually still standing by 2 AM...others... um... weren't so lucky :)

  • I'm still not completely sure which direction I want to take this blog. Some days I feel like being an ass, some days I feel like dropping some intellect, and some days I'll just write whatever comes to mind. I'm working on formulating some sort of weekly schedule... Example: Fridays: The Hangover Edition. Movie Life Lesson Mondays. Sexual Chocolate Saturdays. These probably won't be the real titles, but you get the idea. Look for some changes in the next few weeks.

“Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix.” -Christina Baldwin


dchero said...

dc definitely has a high percentage of single women. I still haven't figured out why, like it really matters, but there might be no better place to improve your game than here. Southern girls are much hotter though, with their only competition coming from az and socal chicks.

Slightly Disorganized said...

sex without condoms?

much better, although decidely risky. If you learned anything from the pickup artists, it should be to ALWAYS wrap your tool.

kids and diseases are inconvenient at best.

Ced @ mintyway said...

That's one energetic post. It's nice to see poeple go fast forward. I'll make sure to follow your blog. Keep posting.

roissy said...

looking forward to your wedding stories.
i've defiled quite a few sacred ceremonies in my life.

roosh said...

Definitely takes time. It took me 2 years of working the 9-5 to save up enough money to quit comfortably.